In the Headlights: the ROAR

[Photo: Big Frank Dickinson]

I think we are all familiar with John Lennon's quotation: "Life is what happens to you when you're making other plans." Well how about this one from another John - John Ashbery:

"No matter how you twist it,
life stays frozen in the headlights.
Funny, none of us heard the roar."

The Roar
---- Big Frank Dickinson

You never do hear the roar because it's what comes afterwards;
the realization that you participated in an event,
that, as Lennon said, it happened to you.
Despite what Tolle and his ilk go on and on about - being in
the NOW; you are still always left with the question: which now?
There are so many - the now outside your window,
in the air around you, the faint memory
tugging at the edges of your budding realization
that you will have to do something about it,
and it too becomes now, even though
you have conjured it entirely out of half-surpressed desire,
the true motivation of which is not the now that you know,
but it certainly must be counted - your eyes cannot see them,
but special machines, even if they are not in the room with you now,
could, if they were here, measure and draw graphs
right now of all those rays: x-, gama, micro, macro, and unknown waves;
they are all now, and so too are all the nonexistant suppositions,
aborted plans, pointless regrets,
and other twists in life that roar past you
now.

YOU

You
by Dennis O'Driscoll

Be yourself: show your flyblown eyes
to the world, give no cause for concern,
wash the paunchy body whose means
you live within, suffer the illnesses
that are your prerogative alone -

the prognosis relates to nobody but you;
you it is who gets up every morning
in your skin, you who chews your dinner
with your mercury-filled teeth, gaining
garlic breath or weight, you dreading,

you hoping, you regretting, you interloping.
The earth has squeezed you in, found you space;
any loss of face you feel is solely yours -
you with the same old daily moods, debts,
intuitions, food fads, pet hates, Achilles' heels.

You carry on as best you can the task of being,
whole-time, you; you in wake and you in dream,
at all hours, weekly, monthly, yearly, life,
full of yourself as a tallow candle is of fat,
wallowing in self-denial, self-esteem.

Flights Not Taken

[Photo: Big Frank Dickinson]

We are all familiar with the Frost poem about the road not taken; in that poem, which Big Frank wrote about earlier here, Frost writes "I took the one less traveled by/And that has made all the difference." A close reading of the poem reveals both roads were equaled traveled, and the persona in the poem is only fooling himself if he thinks his treck was anymore unique than any other.

Well Big Frank was thinking - as he looked at the departure board: that he took the flight less traveled, and it didn't make any difference; or was it he took the flight more traveled, or equally traveled and it did make a difference. Who knows? However, the thought does arise: what if I had taken that other flight - or that one - or that one? Perhaps Big Frank will need to go back and find out. And that leads us to an apt poem by Dennis O'Driscoll:

Road Not Taken
by Dennis O'Driscoll

How tantalising they are,
those roads you glimpse
from car or train,
bisected by a crest
of grass perhaps,
keeping their destinations quiet.

You remember a brimming
sea of the horizon
or an arch of trees
in reveries of light;
then a bend that cut
your vision off
abruptly.

Some day you must return
to find out how they end.

Words: a poem

[Photo: Big Frank Dickinson]

Words
---- Big Frank Dickinson

It seems a trick, mere words
Reversed, repeated or unwound;
Like the meaning of a meaning,
The inside out of one, two, three.

The comfort gleaned from comfort;
The magic, magically gone;
The drawer that drew you in;
The song that sings unsung.

It's all the time you planned
To time your time at last.
The last time that you lasted,
Long time past.

The glance behind that glanced
Behind to when behind was near.
The nearness of the softness
Glancing softly in the mirror.

It's in the touch of brushing by
By brushing touch you see;
The nudge untouched before
When touched screams out: "It's me."

Accomplishments?

[Photo: Big Frank Dickinson]

My Accomplishments
---- Big Frank Dickinson

"I have" precedes results,
The present perfect or the past?
These still doing or was?
Accomplished but still not done.

I've come to know my feelings
As my many chosen views;
Not totalitarian overlays
Of other's acts infused.

I have looked back on my
Misteps, to see where I tripped;
In work it's served me well,
In love sometimes I've slipped.

Discretely and lovingly following
My wandering kids kept them near
Exempting them from too much me
Yet giving of my time, my ear.

I've kept the wonder of a kid
At all the world holds;
Infinitely intricate.
Surpising it unfolds.

I've seen my own face
In others kind and mean;
And tried to match comfort with
The comfort I have gleaned.

I sometimes feel that all I've
Done is small and counts but little
And then the realization comes
A thousand's still a twiddle.

Beijing Air (cough cough)

Beijing has the worst air pollution of any city on the planet earth (although, Mexico City is doing is worst to take that distinction away from Beijing). The three biggest contributors to this problem in Beijing are car exhaust from over 4 million cars, coal burning, and dust storms from the Gobi desert. Winter is the worst time as the cold air creates an inversion layer and traps the pollution in the city. Many residents wear white surgical face masks especially during the dust storms. One recent such storm dumped over 50,000 tons of dust on Beijing. Big Frank was actually out taking pictures during one such dust storm and captured the pictures below. The piture to the left gives some idea of how bad the air is - and note the traffic jam. Below Beijing residents wearing their white surgical masks during a dust storm. While Big Frank had a great time in Beijing, and found the Chinese there hospitable and kind, he is glad to be once again breathing the clear air of Spokane!

[All photos: by Big Frank Dickinson]

Peking Duck (北京烤鴨)

[All photos: by Big Frank Dickinson]

Big Frank has been eating a lot of duck lately. All his life up to yesterday he had never eaten Peking Duck, and now he's eaten it two days in a row! Here, in China, of course, it's called Beijing Roast Duck - in traditional Chinese: 北京烤鴨. It dates back to at least the 14th century, and maybe earlier.

Below is Big Frank's host, Jack, with his son, Frankie. The menu for the evening is open on Jack's lap. It has lots of full color pictures, showing exactly what you are ordering, and the menu is always at least 20 pages long with an amazing amount of choices. Jack ordered Peking Duck, and of course about 15 or 20 other courses. The picture at the top show who ate with Big Frank and also how the first courses looked upon the table.



Here's the routine with the duck: the cooked Peking Duck is carved in front you. Then the meat is served with steamed pancakes, scallions, cucumber sticks and sweet bean sauce. It's kind of like making a taco: you spread the sauce over the pancake, which is wrapped around the meat with the vegetables and then it's eaten by hand (although I've seen Chinese hold this duck/pancake/vegetable wrap with chop sticks - something Big Frank did not attempt.

Big Frank took the following pictures during the meal (see below) to show you how this is done, and no, the Chinese I was eating with thought nothing strange of this; they thought the photographs appropriate - hey, it's Peking Duck! So - if you can find the duck (baked hanging in an oven) then you can make this yourselves at home.

The Great Wall of China meets Big Frank (or is it the other way around?)

[Photos by Big Frank Dickinson]

Big Frank finally made it to the Great Wall of China. It had snowed and we (the tour group that went to the wall with Big Frank) had to push the van up the slope to get to the wall. There is one photo of us pushing (Big Frank took the picture, but did help push afterwards - he's no slacker!). Once at the wall the entire tour group had its picture taken: an Egyptian, an Italian, a Norwegian, two Americans (Big Frank and Sheena from NY), and 4 Iranians. Sheena is the one who looks like a terrorist; for some reason when pictures were taken she would cover her entire face with a scarf! She works in fashion design in NY and told me that it is soooo not fun. After the photo op we had time to climb the wall (that's right, the wall at this point goes almost straight up). Lars, the Norwegian, and Big Frank (the American) were the only ones who went up the wall to the towers. It was not so tough climbing, but it was extremely slippery because of the snow. From the upper towers Lars and Big Frank took pictures of each other, of the wall, and of Big Frank wearing a t-shirt with Joe Mosbrucker Masonry printed on the back. Joe, an old friend of Big Frank's (from, where else but Dickinson, ND) likes to create the impression that his maonry business is worldwide and may have actually laid the stone in that wall. Lars and Big Frank then slid down the wall; it actually was like skiing - Big Frank won the race down. The Great Wall - a Great Time!

Posing for photos (or not)

Big Frank has his camera ever at the ready here in Beijing. You never know what surprising view, person, thing, or event may occur. Well, so far not all that much surprising has happened. However, whenever Big Frank goes to a tourist hot spot, he notices (as everyone must) that people pose for each other. Of course, the idea is that you are posing only for your friend, because who would want a photo of you - a stranger? Well, Big Frank would. So the photos above are a few photos that Big Frank took of others posing - some not knowing that they were, and others very obviously getting into it.

[Photos by Big Frank Dickinson, taken in the Forbidden City, Beijing, China.]

The Forbidden City

[Photos by Big Frank Dickinson]

It has taken Big Frank considerable time to figure out how to get through the Chinese curtain in order to post pictures on his blog (full disclosure at a later time). He is back with pictures. Today Big Frank was permitted (along with perhaps a million Chinese) to visit the forbidden city. Don't let the photos fool you, there were lots and lots of people accompanying Big Frank today.

This palace ground is immense - it's around 70 acres or so in area, has about 1,000 buildings and over 8,000 rooms. Needless to say it's the largest and best preserved palace complex on earth. It was built originally in the 15th century in the Ming dynasty and then more in the Qing dynasty. Then various owners through the ages, but never destroyed, although there were quite a few fires. You can see how scared they were of fires by the huge number of giant copper and brass pots that can be found throughout the complex. These pots had water in them at all times to put out fires.

.

Big Frank wandered around, took photos, talked to various Chinese (mostly people looking to make a yuan, and . . . some did. The power and richness of these Chinese kingdoms is evident in this palace complex. And, of course the overwhelming amount of rituals that permeated that time: buildings for ceremonies, and buildings for preparing for ceremonies, and buildings for honoring ancestors, and buildings for dressing etc. etc. Passage ways through gates for those of a certain rank, and passages for those of a lower one, and if you went through the wrong one - you wouldn't do it again. What was life like to live in such a time and place?

Beijing Day 2

Big Frank cannot post any photos here - sorry. He'll be taking them, and then posting them when he gets back. Unfortunately, blogspot is not really accessible here except through fancy dodging techniques which involve using proxy servers to get around firewalls. Well, Big Frank got around the firewall, for text, but it appears there's an even higher wall for pictures.

Actually Big Frank did not get a chance to take any pictures today - he was working. Yeah, I know it's a bummer, but that's primarily what he's doing here. Nonetheless, a few impressions of Beijing:
(1) Air pollution is pretty bad, for someone from Spokane. Of course the Chinese that I talked to said that today was pretty good. It lets you see about 1/4 of a mile away and after that it's a white curtain - hey Big Frank is behind the White Curtain!
(2) The traffic is conjested. It can take 30 minutes to go 2 or 3 miles. Many pedestrians and bicylists completely ignore the traffic lights and pretty much walk across the road at their pleasure. Lots of loud honking.
(3) The food is terrific - great fried rice last night, and a terrific lunch today: (keep in mind that Big Frank is big on food, but not so good on remembering or describing the dishes - he's working on that) some kind of shrimp with a brown sauce, steamed baby greens, tofu in some kind of sauce, yellow rice - probably jasmine, right? It was good; he ate with two Chinese women - one currently living in Wisconsin, and the other in Australia. They both studied abroad, had American and Australian husbands, and thought the buffet (which had about 15 choices) to have too few kinds of food! And it is very cheap. Big Frank was telling one of the Chinese women (Bo)that he only paid 15 RMB (about $2.00) for his dinner last night. She told him that was overpriced and most would not pay more than $0.75.
(4) Everyone smokes over here and most places allow it inside. One Chinese guy that I talked said that's one reason why he lives here (he has a place in Australia also), because he can smoke in his office.

Big Frank is now going to get some exercise in the gym, and then go out for some more of that great Chinese cuisine. Big Frank apologizes for no photos, and promises to next include a poem on Day 3 to make up for the lack of photos.

In Beijing

Big Frank has arrived in Beijing. It's a long haul from SF across the Pacific to China - 12 hours of sitting. Big Frank was pacing the aisles to prevent permanent muscles lockdown, which did not happen. He got into his hotel without a hitch, but getting on the internet was another thing! Facebook - not accessible (need to know some fancy steps to get in; Big Frank is studying up on that). Blogspot - not accessible either, but through a little avoidance Big Frank is posting this. Still - no ability to upload photos so for now - only text. So this is a meager start to keep up blogging while here. It ain't easy.

Trains, clocks, and anxious beauty

[Photo by Big Frank Dickinson taken in the train station at Bayreuth, Germany]

This next photo is a wonderful mixture of trains, clocks, and the anxious look of a beautiful traveler (Big Frank's good friend and fellow Fulbrighter, Mandy). Stafford's poem goes very well with this photo.

Romance
by William Stafford

A woman down our street went away and became
the sound of a train on a rainy night,
lingering like a scarf in the trees.

To Chicago, some said, but all traces
vanished. Years later a card came—
Valparaiso, but faint, and maybe not her.

Now, whenever it rains, like children
we listen at the window. We know some friends
won’t ever come back, really.

But the sound of a train is ours, and Valparaiso.

-- William Stafford

Leaning into Life: Photo and Poem

[Photo by Big Frank Dickinson taken in an Osaka subway station]

Big Frank loves this photo so much. It is so perfect that one thinks that it must have been posed, but it wasn't. Everything outside the colorful advertisement for a museum exhibition is so so gray with one losing himself in it totally, and the other wistfully gazing into the photo. Here's Big Frank's poem this photo inspired:

Two Views
---- Big Frank Dickinson

If the will could dream, would it be in color;
Waiting outside the frame and leaning in . . . ?

Photo and Poem

[Photo by Big Frank Dickinson in Osaka train station]

Big Frank is going to stay with the trains for one more post. The above photo was taken in the Osaka train station, and these are the engines of the famous Japanese bullet trains or shinkansen. They are so beautiful and they can take you away quickly. Below, not exactly a poem, but a wonderful excerpt from Kafka on journeys.

My Destination
---- Franz Kafka

I gave orders for my horse to be brought round from the stable. The servant did not understand me. I myself went to the stable, saddled my horse and mounted. In the distance I heard a bugle call, I asked him what this meant. He knew nothing and had heard nothing. At the gate he stopped me, asking: "Where are you riding to, master?" "I don't know," I said, "only away from here, away from here. Always away from here, only by doing so can I reach my destination." "And so you know your destination?" he asked. "Yes, " I answered, "didn't I say so? Away-From-Here, that is my destination." "You have no provisions with you," he said. "I need none," I said, "the journey is so long that I must die of hunger if I don't get anything on the way. No provisions can save me. For it is fortunately, a truly immense journey."

Photos and Poems

[Photo by Big Frank Dickinson, taken in Warsaw train station]

Big Frank is going through some of his favorite photographs and posting them here. The next few days will see more of this. Along with the photo there will be a poem; sometimes Big Frank's and sometimes not Big Frank's. Today it's not his, but rather one by Fred Chappell. Big Frank is not so sure how close the photo needs to be to the poem, so he'll just leave it loose or close as the connection reveals itself to be.

LXXI DEPOT
by Fred Chappell

look how the arched roof,
the gypsy girl's mouth
is blowing cigar smoke:
train heading out

and now she pokes it
once more between her lips:
here comes the super express

just as far as you can spit
the last little butt:
goodbye caboose

Up in the clouds

Up in the clouds they look much different than from down below. They seem at the same time more insubstantial and more other-worldly (foreign). Here are some examples that Big Frank snapped while up among them.