Tuesday, December 30, 2008

2009 = Change?

Big Frank is preparing for the Big Change. We are moving out of 2008 and into 2009. Why is it that we view this as such a change? It’s absolutely unlike going from Wednesday to Thursday, or from December to January. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that it is a number – not a name that is changing. Do numbers carry more momentum, more significance than names? We feel that when our age changes on our birthdays that it is also a time of significance. However, unlike when the year changes, on our birthdays we tend to look back more – it’s a more wistful date. New Years day, on the other hand, is a positive, hopeful, and auspicious day for most. It is a day whose numerical change we feel reverberates within us also. Those backward glances that we do allow ourselves are primarily used in identifying areas in our life that we want to change – either because what we want cannot be found in the review, or because what can be found we want to eliminate. We as humans are commonly identified uniquely as tool-making, or language using. However, Big Frank proposes another way of setting humans – you – apart from other creatures: we are capable of changing ourselves! We can mold our behaviors, our thoughts, our relationship to others, and become something new. We can do this because of our imagination - another distinguishing feature of our humanity. It is because we can imagine ourselves as someone different that we can make those changes. Of course, there are lots of people who neither desire nor will change. For them the new year will be a continuation of the old one, as far as they are concerned.

There are two kinds of people in the world: those who believe they can change and those who don't. We all know the stories of people who made dramatic spiritual changes: Sidhartha, St. Francis of Assisi, and St. Augustine. Physical changes, lifestyle changes, career changes, changes in values - all these can be found in the plethora of self-help books to be found in any bookstore. There is even good research showing that people can change their personalities - as indicated by changes to the so-called big five personality traits: conscientiousness, agreeableness, neuroticism, openness and extraversion. If you are still doubtful of this watch "Protagonist". Big Frank believes change is possible and has a few in mind for 2009 - all good ones - for him and all of you too.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

The Next Snowfall


Snowfall

As the flakes come down they are dry.
They land where they fall. Did they intend
On reaching the ground, did they want
To drift with their fellow flakes?

Some don’t make it, and end
Up, temporarily, on a branch with
Others, waylaid coming down.
They are the outliers and delay

Their spectacular drop for another
Day when the wind or the sun
Moves them suddenly and beautifully
Off their perch and back into the air.

---- Big Frank Dickinson

Saturday, December 27, 2008

The Love Interest

Reading John Ashbery last night, Big Frank came across this lovely poem. It is a prime example of a poem that can raise the hair on the back of your neck, and take you somewhere else and then back.

The Love Interest

We could see it coming from forever,
then it was simply here, parallel
to the day’s walking. By then it was we
who had disappeared, into the tunnel of a book.

Rising late at night, we join the current
of tomorrow’s news. Why not? Unlike
some others, we haven’t anything to ask for
or borrow. We’re just pieces of solid geometry:

cylinders or rhomboids. A certain satisfaction
has been granted us. Sure, we keep coming back
for more—that’s part of the “human” aspect
of the parade. And there are darker regions

penciled in, that we should explore some time.
For now it’s enough that this day is over.
It brought its load of freshness, dropped it off
and left. As for us, we’re still here, aren’t we?

---- John Ashbery

Friday, December 26, 2008

Let it be resolved!

Big Frank is getting ready for 2009 in the traditional way – deciding on his New Year Resolutions.

If you’re curious about what the top ten resolutions are? Check out here and see if yours are there - most likely at least some are. So once you have your resolutions made up then what? Well some research has revealed some good ways to hold to those resolutions. Susan Miller and Alan Malatt did research on this at the University of Washington, and this is what they found: have a strong initial commitment to change; have some strategies to cope with problems arise; track your progess – positive feedback helps. And persistence is important; it turns out that only 40% were successful immediately – most achieved success after multiple tries. Finally Marlatt gives this helpful hint – take credit for success, but don’t blame yourself for failure – rather concentrate on removing the barriers and plan a better way to remove them on your next attempt.

Next Big Frank offers a link to some tools to help manage your new year’s resolutions. Among others there is a useful link to Joe’s Goals, a free online chart to help you keep track of your success in meeting your resolutions on a daily basis. You can set it up in less than one minute.

And for those of you who just need some help with some specifics within those main resolution areas, here are some lists to help you out - just click on the link that is all about your resolutions:

For those interested in compliling resolutions - you have five days left. If anyone would like to share - Big Frank would welcome input.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS


[St. Mary's Church (Kosciol Mariacki) in Krakow, Poland]

Merry Christmas everyone! Big Frank sends his festive greetings to all of you blog readers, those who have linked, those who comment, those who pass through regularly, those who read every now and then, and those of you who are reading this for the first time. To all Big Frank's family in Poland, in North Dakota, in Texas, and in Colorado - may the spirit of Christmas be with you now and throughout the new year. To all of Big Frank's friends in Washington, Idaho, Oregon, Montana, North Dakota, Minnesota, Arizona, California, Texas, New York, Colorado, Singapore, Japan, Poland, England, and all places in between - may the joy in noel resound in your hearts now and throughout 2009. Big Frank appreciates all of your interest in WHAT IT IS, and your taking the time to visit and to read what's been on Big Frank's mind and in his heart. This new year will see a continuation of WHAT IT IS. Big Frank intends on making improvements in his writing, and in the variety of the postings. If you have an requests or suggestion - let Big Frank know. As always - he aims to please! Thank you - all of you for your love and support! If you didn't read this - it wouldn't be here. By reading this blog you touch Big Frank and he knows it and appreciates it.

MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Colorful multifarious ambiguity



William Meredith's poem "The Illiterate" captures a feeling that we all have had: tempered optimism - dread with an asterisk - we've all been there. The colorful undistilled eventualities of life. The above image seems to reflect the poem well, as does this woodcut by Escher, and this painting by Klee.

The Illiterate

Touching your goodness, I am like a man
Who turns a letter over in his hand
And you might think this was because the hand
was unfamiliar but, truth is, the man
Has never had a letter from anyone;
And now he is both afraid of what it means
And ashamed because he has no other means
To find out what it says than to ask someone.
His uncle could have left the farm to him,
Or his parents died before he sent them word,
Or the dark girl changed and want him for beloved.
Afraid and letter-proud, he keeps it with him.
What would you call his feeling for the words
That keep him rich and orphaned and beloved?

---- William Meredith

Monday, December 22, 2008

Dream Pang


Big Frank has been reading Robert Frost again. This dream
poem of his is poignantly beautiful - dreamily optimistic.

A Dream Pang

I had withdrawn in forest, and my song
Was swallowed up in leaves that blew alway;
And to the forest edge you came one day
(This was my dream) and looked and pondered long,
But did not enter, though the wish was strong:
You shook your pensive head as who should say,
"I dare not—too far in his footsteps stray—
He must seek me would he undo the wrong."

Not far, but near, I stood and saw it all
Behind low boughs the trees let down outside;
And the sweet pang it cost me not to call
And tell you that I saw does still abide.
But ’tis not true that thus I dwelt aloof,
For the wood wakes, and you are here for proof.

---- Robert Frost

What It Is: the book

The list of What It Is's continues. "What It Is" - the book, is most certainly unlike any book you have ever read. And if it hadn't been for Big Frank's sister - Kathy - Big Frank would have never read it either. So thanks to Kathy for sending it to Big Frank!! Right smack in the middle of the cover, which is richly illustrated with all kinds of wacky drawings of monkeys, ghosts, strange birds, aliens, flowers, fish, and other colorful doodle-like drawings is the question: Do you wish you could write? This is what this book is all about. It is, as the cover points out: Dramatically illustrated with more than color pictures. What more? The whole point of the book is to bet you, the reader, to step into your dramatically illustrated gallery you carry around all the time, and perhaps rarely look at.

The author is Lynda Barry, who, we are told: "Has worked as a painter, cartoonist, writer, issustrator, playwright, editor, commentator and teacher and found they are very much alike." This book has most likely come out of all the creative writing classes that she has taught. It's all about images and leads the reader to that discovery through a series of questions. I include 10 below. Answer them and you are well on your way to becoming a writer youself!

  1. To follow a wandering mind means having to get lost. Can you stand being lost?
  2. What is a monster?
  3. What is a realization?
  4. Can images exist without thinking?
  5. Can you have thoughts without languages?
  6. What is an attachment?
  7. What is an inclination?
  8. Is realization intentional or unintentional?
  9. What does the TV see when it watches you?
  10. Who may be coming soon?

And that is What It Is!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

The Snowman


Big Frank looking at the pine-trees crusted with snow, out in the cold, tramping through the woods, and not one snowman around - not one. Well, on second thought - maybe there was one.

The Snowman

One must have a mind of winter
To regard the frost and the boughs
Of the pine-trees crusted with snow;

And have been cold a long time
To behold the junipers shagged with ice,
The spruces rough in the distant glitter

Of the January sun; and not to think
Of any misery in the sound of the wind,
In the sound of a few leaves,

Which is the sound of the land
Full of the same wind
That is blowing in the same bare place

For the listener, who listens in the snow,
And, nothing himself, beholds
Nothing that is not there and the nothing that is.

---- Wallace Stevens

What It Is: the CD

Stephen Bruton has a CD called, what else?, What It Is. With a title like that how could you go wrong, and you won't with this. It doesn't actually have any song entitled "What It Is", well there is one called "It Is What It Is" - and that was actually recorded by that great old country western group - The Highwaymen - (listen to their version of that great tune by Willie - "Always On My Mind". I'm sure you recognized them in the clip: Kris Kristofferson, Johnny Cash, Willie Nelson, and Waylon Jennings. However - back to Bruton - he has written a number of great country songs. The song to listen to on "What It Is" is "Too Many Memories" gorgeous tune that is sure to touch your heart just as it touched Big Frank's.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

What It Is - the song!


Big Frank has been collecting What it is's - there are songs, books, and other stuff by this name. Today it's one song by this title - there are more! This is a great song written and performed by Mark Knopfler. (Click on the title to hear the song - it's a good one!). That's what it is!

What It Is

The drinking dens are spilling out
There's staggering in the square
There's lads and lasses falling about
And a crackling in the air
Down around the dungeon doors
The shelters in the queues
Everybody's looking for
Somebody's arms to fall into
And it's what it is
It's what it is now

There's frost on the graves and the monuments
But the taverns are warm in town
People curse the government
And shovel hot food down
The lights are out in city hall
The castle and the keep
The moon shines down upon it all
The legless and asleep

And it's cold on a tollgate
With the wagons creeping through
Cold on a tollgate
God knows what i could do with you
And it's what it is
It's what it is now

The garrison sleeps and the citadel
With the ghosts and the ancient stones
High on a parapet
A scottish piper stands alone
And high on the wind
The highland drums begin to roll
And something from the past just comes
And stares into my soul

And it's cold on a tollgate
Where the caledonian blues
Cold on a tollgate
God knows what i could do with you
And it's what it is
It's what it is now
What it is
It's what it is now

There's a chink of light
There's a burning wick
There's a lantern in the tower
Wee willie winkie with a candlestick
Still writing songs in the wee wee hours
On charlotte street i take
A walking stick from my hotel
The ghost of dirty dick
Is still in search of little nell
And it's what it is
It's what it is now
Oh it's what it is
What it is now

Ponderosa Pines Loaded Down







Big Frank put on his snowshoes today and went into the ponderosa pines in search of some good photos. He was wielding his new digital camera that was so kindly presented to him by his brother, Dan. So these shots are for you, Dan. Of course, Big Frank remembers the last time that he posted shots of ponderosa pines (taken while on a jog). At that time Dan then posted comments to the effect that it was - I think the phrase was "less than exciting." So Big Frank waited and waited until the snow came in such quantities that it would completely change the way these ponderosa pines look, and then trudging through the snow (yeah, he sank in a bit - well 10 inches at least) he captured these shots. This is all part of Big Frank's tree photography - stay tuned (can you say that on a blog?) for more, including - BEST TREES OF SPOKANE. Now that is going to be exciting!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Memory


It's funny how the clock of memory can get unwound - or is it wound? While smell might have the strongest pull - it is images and words that most often do the pulling. The mind goes back. The memories emerge. 10. 9, 8 . . . 2 . . . Nov. Oct., Sept, . . . .Sunday, Saturday, Friday, . . . Tuesday . . .it is a countback that takes place in an instant; your mind does all that mechanical back turning. Why? We all know why, don't we?

Countdown

Synchronize the falling clocks
Wind the mind and check the locks
Pick-up sticks and building blocks

pyramid to perfect knowing
minus ten and time is growing
small at nine is cold and snowing

eight is wheels and seven rain
what equation can expalin
going backward in the brain.

---- Miller Williams

USPS - what's the deal?

OK, Big Frank got a note from USPS six months ago. They told him that his mailbox was 6 inches to low and 3 inches too far from the road. Then they stopped delivering mail (can they do that?). The note was delivered into that so-called faulty mailbox - good enough for the their note, but not good enough for anyone else's notes. And, by the way, it also had some kind of vague threat concerning the dire repercussions if the mailbox was not kept in tiptop shape. So Big Frank got a shovel and moved the mailbox. He then took it off its pole and raised it a full 6 inches. No thank you was forthcoming from the USPS. However, since then the mail has been delivered regularly - not one day has passed without mail . . . until yesterday. No mail! Take a look at the photo. You can see right into Big Frank's mailbox, and clearly there is no mail in there. Now, it is true that the mailbox leans a little to the left and the nails holding it are a little loose, but it is exactly as close to the road as USPS regulations require, and is at the stipulated height (as per USPS regulations) off the ground. The lilt was caused by gravity - not Big Frank. So why no mail today? Snow? Oh, yeah, sure, let's all blame the snow!

Thursday, December 18, 2008

Snow Biking!

Big Frank woke this morning with biking on his mind. What with all the recent posts of vacations and bike tours etc., he thought: "What better time to get on the old bike and get some miles in to keep those biking legs in shape?"


However, when he opened the garage (yeah, sometimes Big Frank is a little oblivious) look at what was out there - two feet of new snow! So Big Frank got out his shovel and went to work. There was a problem with where to put all this snow. He thought about the garage, but then he'd have to move out his vehicle. His neighbors weren't interested - so in traditional fashion he just threw it in his yard and decided to deal with it later. The main thing was to get that driveway cleaned out so that he could get on his bike. NO, Big Frank was not deterred by the snow from biking.

So, with enough of the snow removed to get a running start, Big Frank mounted his bike and set off. Well, something was wrong - very very wrong. He slipped and his bike slid, and the next thing he knew, Big Frank was in Big Trouble. We don't need to include the photo of what happened immediately after this photo - use your imagination. It was not pretty.




So, luckily Big Frank remembered those snowshoes that he got earlier. Slipping and sliding are over - he thought. How stupid can a guy be to go biking in the snow with regular biking shoes. No wonder he was slipping and sliding. So, he went back in the house and got his snowshoes, put them on (with appropriate boots, of course), and off he went.


And . . . what a difference a pair of shoes makes. Unbelieveable how Big Frank ever thought that he could snow-bike without snowshoes. So, as you can see he went out the driveway and on into the snow with those bike-snowshoes on. This could be the beginning of a whole new sport.


For specifics on gear and how to use it - please contact Big Frank Dickinson.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Big Frank on the Big Lebowski - watch it!

"But sometimes there's a man, and I'm talkin' about the Dude here-- sometimes there's a man, wal, he's the man for his time'n place, he fits right in there--and that's the Dude, in Los Angeles......and even if he's a lazy man, and the Dude was certainly that—quite possibly the laziest in Los Angeles County. ...which would place him high in the runnin' for laziest worldwide--but sometimes there's a man. . . sometimes there's a man."

Big Frank has been thinking lately of another Big – The Big Lebowski – the Dudester. What a movie! The movie now has a cult following, and even a religion: Dudeism, and a Lebowski Festival complete with website where you can get such great items as a Young Achiever sweatshirt, T-shirts, and even a poster of Nixon bowling. Is this a movie that you watch because you like bowling? Yeah, might could be that. Well there were entirely different reasons the led Big Frank to watch it the last time he did – good ones, but nothing to do with bowling. This is a movie about feeling good, about laughter best shared by watching this movie with someone you can laugh and enjoy life with. If you're into the analysis you can read this, but most of us would rather not. Get cozy, pour yourself a glass of wine (or sarsparilla), put your feet up and enjoy. In fact, Big Frank would say – in keeping with his view of the bifurcation of the universe – that there are two kinds of people – those who love this movie, and those who haven’t seen it (OK maybe there’s someone who didn’t like it; but probably it's because they feel like the cowboy in the movie). So why is Big Frank writing about this movie? The reason is that it needs to be watched again - as before. In fact, it is on Big Frank’s Christmas list – and he’s been pretty good, well, most of the time anyway. So . . .

Monday, December 15, 2008

Have couch will travel

Big Frank still has vacation on his mind. There is nothing like winter cold to get one thinking of travelling to warm places. What Big Frank has been doing is looking into alternative ways to travel: alternatives to standard accommodations and alternatives to the standard site seeing approach to travel. With that in mind here's one good option: couchsurfing!

Check out their great site couchsurfing.org Here is a place with almost a million members worldwide where you can find people to host you for free. The site is set up in such a way where you can select a city, state, or country and then see who is offering their couch for you to sleep on. Many offer much more than a couch – your own bedroom for example. Many also offer to show you around too. You have the option of joining and offering to host people that come to your town as well. It has lots of security precautions including choice of which gender to host, how many people, references, and pictures of the person, their home, and even their couch. Big Frank has signed up and is now available to host all you readers when you come to Spokane: Near Nature Near Perfect – as the town boosters proudly say. So check it out. And . . . get your reservations in early - the couch is waiting, and so is Big Frank!

The bike beckons - want to get in the picture?

Big Frank is cold. Big Frank is telling himself that he needs to get out into the cold in order to not feel so cold. Big Frank needs to stop referring to himself in the third person, but, hey, it goes with the blog so that ain’t gonna happen. The new snowshoes are beckoning, but Big Frank needs some appropriate boots to insert into those shoes. Then he will strike out into the wilderness in search of . . . (I, guess Big Frank had better figure that one out or he won’t know when he’s reached his destination). In the meantime, while this is being worked out there is time to think about warmer vacations – either in the warm parts of the world, or planning for the summer. The bike is resting, but come summer it will need to move, so now’s the time to be thinking of a possible bike trip. And for those of you readers who might also be thinking of that here are a few resources to look at:

Robert Ashworth has a site full of great links, maps, photos, and general information on biking. Robert lives in Bellingham, WA and is obviously enthusiastic and well-informed on biking.

VBT has been ranked as the top bicycling tour site by National Geographic Adventure magazine. They offer number of bike tours, and bike and barge tours! These are not only in Europe, but throughout the world. Check out the Croatia bike tour – 10 day including airfare for under $3,000.00 all inclusive.

Van Gogh Tours in Italy offer 7-day tours starting at under $1,300 per person all inclusive –except airfare.

The absolute definitive site for bike tours: bicycling world. It has everything, with great search capabilities. If you can’t find it here – it’s probably not out there.

The above link shows the kind of search results that you get from bicycling world for Ireland: 50 tours ranging from under $500 to near $5,000.00 (luxury, of course).

You didn’t think that Big Frank would exclude North Dakota from these links, did you? You’ll need a mountain bike for this trail, but scenery is great – just watch out for the bison!

Big Frank is thinking New Zealand right now! No need to wait for summer – it’s summer down under now! This site has a great selection – both guided and independent. Take your pick.

If you'd like to read the reports of others who have made cycling tours, then Trento Bike Pages is the place for you. There's lots of info there: 991 Tours, 89 Trails, 48 Sites. Check it out by list of countries. It's up to date, and it has over a thousand tips on everything from changing a tire to accounts of cycling around the world!

So which one is it going to be? Big Frank is having trouble deciding - so why not help him out by letting him know which one you like best?

Sunday, December 14, 2008

CHRISTMAS COOKIES?

Big Frank is into baking. Well, it is the season to be merry, and baking induces merriment, even if you don’t eat what you bake. That’s one of the problems with baking a whole bunch; it could be (notice how Big Frank turns this problem into a conditional problem) a source of unwanted calories and subsequent weight gain; however, the solution is to give all those baked good away! So all you thin readers who do not bake, now is the time to put in your orders. If you ask – you shall receive. Big Frank aims to please (and to keep his waist size within the present confines of his current waist band).

What Big Frank would like to do is to give Christmas points to those who order these goodies. For each order you receive 5 Christmas points, then when you have personally eaten all that you have ordered you then receive 5 more Christmas points, and finally when you have given Big Frank a thank you note – or a “why did I do this” note your honest (don’t worry Big Frank can take the hard jab of the truth) opinion on his bake goods – you then receive 10 more Christmas points. Once you have accumulated 20 points you will then be placed in the Christmas Consumption Hall of Fame, which will be posted on “What It Is” (where else) when the holidays are over. (Sorry no deliveries or packages - due to the fragile nature of these items you will have to pick them up.)

Here are the options (as of today): more selections will be announced as they become available. Not to worry they will be much much better than the above photo - an example of what you will not be receiving - Big Frank hopes:)

1. Fruit-Filled Oatmeal Bars (cherry): also known at “Noel Nuggets”
2. Chocolate-Caramel Bars: also known as “Sticky Christmas Cards”
3. Sugar Cookies: also known as “What Kind of Animal Is This Supposed To Be?”
4. White Chocolate Chip Cookies: also known as “Snow Drop Cookies”
Big Frank takes no responsibility for any unpleasant cookie results.

From lute to heart

You don't see too many lutes these days. However, it is a very romantic instrument, and supremely appropriate for the holiday season. Here's a good example of the sound. Big Frank does not think that there is a better instrument with which to accompany the melodic content of a poetically sung tune. By the way, Big Frank doesn't own a lute - yet. A song, when thus accompanied, in the poet's imagination, takes flight and goes beyond from the strings of the lute to the strings of the beloved's desire. Here's Wallace Stevens' XVI from "The Little Blue Book". "Beyond the song's content" - in the imagination the song radiates warmly into the receptive vision of his beloved.

XVI
He sang, and in her heart, the sound
Took form beyond the song's content.
She saw divinely, and she felt
With visionary blandishment.

Desire went deeper than his lute.
She saw her image, sweet and pale,
Invite her to simplicity,
Far off, in some relinquished vale.

---- Wallace Stevens

Saturday, December 13, 2008

Gallant blazing


Big Frank woke this morning to snow - the first snowfall of the year, brought in on the back of the first really cold spell - and it's going to get colder, dipping below zero soon. So . . . thoughts of snow leads to thoughts of poetry with snow. Wallace Stevens came to mind. Here's his poem "A Quiet Normal Life." His line on how he is not like snow, is one of the best descriptions of snow I've ever read: "gallant notions on the part of cold."But when he goes on to describe how his tranquil thought grew peaked (like a flame) in his heart - "cut by gallant notions on the part of night". Well, here we have entered the rare realm of great poetry.

A Quiet Normal Life

His place, as he sat and as he thought, was not
In anything that he constructed, so frail,
So barely lit, so shadowed over and naught,

As, for example, a world in which, like snow,
He became an inhabitant, obedient
To gallant notions on the part of cold.

It was here. This was the setting and the time
Of year. here in his house and in his room,
In his chair, the most tranquil thought grew peaked

And the oldest and the warmest heart was cut
By gallant notions on the part of night--
Both late and alone, above the crickets' chords,

Babbling, each one, the uniqueness of its sound.
There was no fury in transcendent forms,
But this actual candle blazed with artifice.

---- Wallace Stevens

Friday, December 12, 2008

Holiday Wishes

Big Frank was out tonight looking at that giant moon, closest to the earth of anytime during the year. When that big pizza pie, as that shmaltzy crooner Dean Martin sang, hits you in the eye – it says: “Amore”. And we all know what amore conjures up – wishes! So wishes it is – this is the season of wishes. This is the time of the year to express what you want for those who are near and dear to you. And remember the wish should not be a wish for YOU, but what you wish for them. You don’t write to your son or daughter and wish that they would correct their lives in the way in which you would like their lives to go (I’m referring to grown children here). You don’t write to your siblings and wish that they would acknowledge some worth you see in yourself that they have ignored. You don’t write to your enemies and wish them ill. You don't write to your friends and wish them to take better care of you. You don’t write to your co-workers about how they could improve their work performance. And you don’t write to people for whom you have strong feeling (much as you might like to) and wish them to do what you would like them to do for you . No, in all cases, this is the time of the year to unselfishly wish for the well-being and genuine happiness of those in your heart. Just think, that wish could be the tipping point. What a terrific holiday gift that would be to have tipped someone whom you really care about into their peace and joy with your wish. Well, who knows; wishes are positive thoughts and they do have influence!

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Kierkegaard

Big Frank presents S. Keirkegaard from "Either/Or, Vol. 1":

The essence of pleaseure does not lie in the thing enjoyed, but in the accompanying consciousness. If I had a humble spirit in my service who, when I asked for a glass of water, brought me the world's costliest wines blended in a chalice, I should dismiss him, in order to teach him that pleasure consists not in what I enjoy, but in having my own way.

If I were to wish for anything, I should not wish for wealth and power, but for the passionate sense of the potential, for the eye which, ever young and ardent, sees the possible. Pleasure disappoints, possibility never. And what wine is so spakling, what so frangrant, what so intoxicating, as possibility!

One ought to be a mystery, not only to others, but also to one's self. I study myself; when I am weary of this, then for a pastime I light a cigar and think: the Lord only knows what He meant by me, or what He would make out of me.

It's the past that's supposed to be gray



Smooth Colored Comfort

Let’s smooth the dial and rest in pillowed luxury;
Of cushioned comfort within the Turkish tent
“And will there be anything else,?” is heard again
And again, but there really isn’t anything else.

You have it all. And around the corner?
Were you sent? In any case, you went.
Or did it go? Let's just say the corner was rounded?
If so, we'd just like to know if it's any different over there.

Here you have the luxury of reminiscence, which you indulge
In at inopportune times, and it’s like looking at old photos
From which you were told the color would fade in time,
And you're surprised because either it hasn’t, or

You have colorized those shapshots and the funny
Thing is that this has actually improved the original
To the extent that you return more than when you were
Actually there, well that’s not actually possible,

Of course, but you’re not really interested in the possible
If you were, then you would possibly be more accepting
Of this black-and-white world, which is very strange
Because it's the past that’s supposed to be gray.


---- Big Frank Dickinson

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

A Tug To Go


Tonight Big Frank watched planes coming in to land. It is an almost surreal sight, especially if the planes are visibly lined up. In the fog as they descend from the clouds they almost float in, one after another. It is such a beautiful sight, and one wonders if those passengers inside have any idea of the beauty within which they approach. It brings thoughts of past departures and hoped for future returns.


Planes Landing In the Fog

The lights from above slowly coming down,
Inevitably descending, snugly sleeping and
All routine - up there, but from down here
It gives us, on the ground, an atmospheric lift.

We are not coming into anything; rather
We came out of it, away from it and now
Our memories lift us; we landed long ago.
While they, become, this night, for us, a tug to go.

If only they could see themselves arrive;
Soft crescendo of a roar rising as they drop;
And our eyes raised along with our spirits in the
Departure they give us when they come home.

---- Big Frank Dickinson

Monday, December 8, 2008

Time to Rearrange the Furniture?


We don’t always wear the same clothes every day, we change them to suit our mood and needs. We don’t always eat the same food every day – that varies to a large degree. So why should we keep the furniture arranged as it is now. Well . . . we shouldn’t. In addition, of course, there are lots of people out there like Big Frank, who are relatively new in their current home, but still haven’t finalized their furniture arrangements. You’ve been, like Big Frank, conceptualizing, as it were. So you’ve tried this chair out in one room, and then in another. You may have ordered a new couch and moved furniture as a result to another room, and then that caused another move etc. etc. So you’re thinking “What if I were to put this chair/table/couch/picture here . . . would it fit and how would that affect this other piece of furniture?” In the end you just start the musical chairs of decorating, but that entails getting some help or doing some major hauling on your own.

Stop! There’s a better way. No, Big Frank is not an interior decorator (not just yet – but with this new software he just might start). There is free online software available for you to plan out your room, and in doing so you can make exact measurements of all furniture involved, place doors and windows exactly as they are, and you don’t have to physically move anything. Then when you have it just as you want it – print it out and tell your muscular furniture moving friends to implement while you drink a glass of wine as you give the final finishing adjustments (here are some tips to follow with the moving)! Now, isn’t that better? And – it didn’t cost you a dime; (Big Frank’s consulting fee is waived this time around).

Here are a few online room aranging choices; try them all out and use the one you like best.

The first one is on a Better Homes and Gardens website, and has options for room dimensions, architecture, and furniture.

The next one is from Bassett Furniture. There are actually a lot of furniture stores that offer this option; the idea is with some that you can actually insert their furniture in correct dimensions into your room, print it out and then come to the store, or order online. However, it has all the options of the above, plus more. Lane Furniture has perhaps an even slicker site. And finally, if you want to go directly to the company that leads in developing this kind of software go to icovia . Happy decorating! And remember, no matter what you decide on for now – you can change as often as you like.

Do You Travel in Your Dreams?

We all know that Frost poem about how he can't stop in those deep dark woods because he has miles to go before sleep. Well, Albert Goldbarth keeps the journey going - refusing to accept that there is no traveling with sleep. So it becomes something like - miles to go before I sleep and miles to go in my sleep. But what a different journey that is. Close your eyes and take off on some "inward flying": sometimes you wonder whose driving then and where you're going - but you are going.

Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening

". . . miles to go before I sleep," says Frost,
as if at last, at night,
the eyes shut, and the mind shuts,
And the journey halts. Of course

that's wrong. All day and into the dusklight
at this flyway stop the waterfowl
-- as plump as pillows, some of the them; and others
small and sleek--have settled abob

in the wash of the river; and here,
by the hundred, they've tucked their heads
inside the wing; inside that dark
and private sky. The outward flying is done

for now, and the inward flying begins.
All one, to the odometer.

---- Albert Goldbarth

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Don Paterson's aphorisms on love

Big Frank has received an e-copy of Don Paterson's book of aphorisms, "Best Thought, Worst Thought: On Art, Sex, Work and Death" from his buddy Magne (check out his blog for pop quotes and aphorisms by Paterson). Paterson is a poet and musician who teaches at the University of St. Andrews in Scotland. This book full of aphorisms that will make you pause, reflect, sometimes reject, others laugh, but almost always pay attention. Big Frank has included a few below on the trajectory of love:
.
Sometimes I wonder if there is an invisible amanuensis on hand at the beginning of our love affairs, scribbling down the improvisations of the first few hours. Too often it seems that they provide the entire script of the melodrama to come, from which we soon find ourselves incapable of straying a word.

The most erotic things that can be done to you are those that are driven by the purest selfishness on the part of your lover. Charity, on the other hand, is the great anaphrodisiac.

I would never claim to have her measure. However she gave me mine. My gratitude is. . . complex.

I was terrified when I suddenly realized her entire conversation took place in inverted commas. She didn't dare mean a thing.

Like a fool, I let her know she was on my mind all the time. Specifically I was telling her that I haunted her; then wondered why the news appalled her so.

She insisted on absolute honesty, so I told her everything. I never saw her again, but at least I had spared the next guy the same ordeal.

Always an error to make someone profess what they will not volunteer—especially in love, where the spontaneity of its declaration is all the language ever holds of it.

I asked her what she thought had given our relationship its longevity, and so initiated—I quickly realized—the first discussion of our relationship we had ever had. We were finished in a month.

I was so practiced in disappointment, I absorbed the blow of her leaving me almost effortlessly. Allowing yourself to be constructed by the lover means you have been a different man from the start; I merely left his body behind like a husk, and let him take the punch. (I watched him double up, as from above.) the loveless wraith of me was then free to wander, looking for my new instructions

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Closet-Man



Big Frank has been reading leaping poetry and prose poetry. Russell Edson is where they come together. If you take a look at his other poems you will be able to visit a world where you start out in this world, and then through his poetry you go somewhere else - returning with something else in mind.

The Reason Why The Closet-Man Is Never Sad

This is the house of the closet-man. There are no rooms,
just hallways and closets.
Things happen in rooms. He does not like things to
happen . . . Closets, you take things out of closets,
you put things into closets, and nothing happens . . .

Why do you have such a strange house?

I am the closet-man, I am either going or coming, and I
am never sad.

But why do you have such a strange house?

I am never sad

---- Russell Edson

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Resignation

Big Frank is taken with poems on the theme of acceptance or resignation. There have been a few previous posts on this subject from Wendell Berry, Walt Whitman and Robert Frost. Of course, no mention of acceptance or resignation is complete without bringing in the Stoics and Big Franks's main man: Marcus Aurelius. Below is another poem on this topic - this centering not on birds at sea, or the animals in the field, but birches and oaks.


Resignation

I like trees because they seem more resigned
to the way they have to live than other things do.

--Willa Cather

Here the oak and silver-breasted birches
Stand in their sweet familiarity
While underground, as in a black mirror,
They have concealed their tangled grievances,
Identical to the branching calm above
But there ensnared, each with the others’ hold
On what gives life to which is brutal enough.
Still, in the air, none tries to keep company
Or change its fortune. They seem to lean
On the light, unconcerned with what the world
Makes of their decencies, and will not show
A jealous purchase on their length of days.
To never having been loved as they wanted
Or deserved, to anyone’s sudden infatuation
Gouged into their sides, to all they are forced
To shelter and to hide, they have resigned themselves.
---- by J. D. McClatchy

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Back Then



Then

The slow movement – so slow; now in recollection;
Like a shadow of the unseen moving away
From the present in the past; a shadow
That got snagged in the memory and can’t
Be released; this image of you, this near absence
Internalized and turned from image to thought-stopped
From that pause to calm expansion of time.

That moment; figure frozen in flow from –
Away from for now and now for then;
The prelude to it warmly unspoken
The sequel in abeyance cooly prolonged
But in that foreshortened and so still
Still now and then your eyes leading you
And mine like a hole into which you’d fallen.

---- Big Frank Dickinson

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

"In chains of the mind locked up"



Big Frank tries to keep his eyes open; there is such a tendency to lose yourself in the inner chatter, the unending reevaluation and incessant planning that the mind muddles on with ignoring the fascinating collage of life that tumbles on around you. Abandoning this blocking-out opens up such a puzzling array of phenomena. If you look there is always something out there (outside of you) to lift your spirit, to open a door of new interest, to shock, to sooth, and to illustrate the great mystery of life in which we humans participate.

Today Big Frank saw:
Gangs of prisoners dressed in orange picking up trash along the road. They were accompanied by guards, and seemed as intent on cleaning the roadside as if it were their own backyard. Not one looked up, not one was slouching or loitering. So, why is that? When you see volunteers, or youthful road cleaners (not dressed in orange) they seem to do this is such a haphazard way. Were they given explicit orders: no looking at anyone who drives by; no tarrying, no missing even the smallest piece of paper; etc. etc. Or is there some other explanation; Big Frank doesn’t know.

A raven perched on a light pole preening. This is a more common sight in the wild than in cities. Crows tend to congregate more in urban areas than ravens. However, this was on the edge of the Spokane River, so maybe that explains it. He might have been part of a vanguard of urban raven settlers.

A lone woman standing with head bowed, praying outside a family planning center. This center usually has one or more such attendants. Yesterday there was a man in an even more fervent pose holding a bible. He had various ribbons attached to his coat, and a large standard perched atop his car and held in place by a thick phone book.

A college sports award banquet that Big Frank attended this evening had a stark contrast between how American male athletes dressed and how the women athletes dressed. While about 50% of the women athletes wore dresses, or made some attempt to dress up; only three male athletes put on ties or jackets: one from South Africa, and two Hispanics. Is there something going on here with guys, or what?

This evening Big Frank went for an night walk and the clouds were illuminated from below. There were giant puffy configurations that covered the sky. These were mottled dollups of clouds covering the sky. At dead north looking directly down on Big Frank was the unmistakeable figure of Urizen - straight out of a William Blake engraving (see the above figure). And so Blake has the final word tonight, from his poem "The First Book of Urizen":

Forgetfulness, dumbness, necessity,
In chains of the mind locked up,
Like fetters of ice shrinking together,
Disorganiz’d, rent from Eternity,

Monday, December 1, 2008

Names


Big Frank has been thinking lately about how lucky he is that he is Big Frank rather than Fig Bank not that there is anything wrong with figs, but a bank full of them would be much too sweet for even Big Frank to deal with. It’s funny about the names that we get saddled with as babies. Most of us just grow into them without a second thought. However, take a second to think about what it is that you would name yourself if you could – or if you had to. We become so accustomed to our own names that it is as difficult to think of ourselves with a different one as it would be to put on a different face. Our name is part of our assumed identity, and it is a recognized right (the UN Convention of the Rights of the Child identifies the right to have one’s own name as one such right).

Your name is a sign of you – it represents you, and is one of the first such outer representation that you point to as you: “Hi, I’m Big Frank.” (I’m hanging my identity on those sounds – those letters.) Your name when uttered by others is their acknowledgement of you, and it pleases you to hear yourself greeted with that word that means you; it massages your ego and boosts your self-esteem. The absolute minimum benchmark for knowing someone is to know their name. If you don’t know that you have no claim to knowing them. Conversely, you call someone by another’s name at the risk of alienation; and the more intimate you are, the more lasting the damage if you use the wrong name – under some circumstances it can’t be taken back (see Don Paterson’s poem on this – The Gift).

What happens when you change your name? Well few people change their given names, but women often take their husband’s names when they marry. How does it feel to shed one name and take on another? Philip Larkin has a poem on just this topic – his view of what happens to the abandoned name.

Maiden Name

Marrying left your maiden name disused.
Its five light sounds no longer mean your face,
Your voice, and all your variants of grace;
For since you were so thankfully confused
By law with someone else, you cannot be
Semantically the same as that young beauty:
It was of her that these two words were used.

Now it's a phrase applicable to no one,
Lying just where you left it,scattered through
Old lists, old programmes, a school prize or two
Packets of letters tied with tartan ribbon -
Then is it scentless, weightless, strengthless, wholly
Untruthful? Try whispering it slowly.
No, it means you. Or, since you're past and gone,

It means what we feel now about you then:
How beautiful you were, and near, and young,
So vivid, you might still be there among
Those first few days, unfingermarked again.
So your old name shelters our faithfulness,
Instead of losing shape and meaning less
With your depreciating luggage laden.

---- Philip Larkin

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Memory and Fog


The Dissolution of Fog

Figures in the fog loom larger with distance.
But the sharpness of edges goes softly away
Into the haze of memory where time
Works its changes inside the mind of memories
Following the narrative on which they're pasted;
With the loose glue of desire gradually replaced
By the less persistent bond of time and distance.
Slipping away it’s sloughed into a thicker haze
Of fading resolutions gradually morphing into
A new form whose clarity is ambiguously loose
In keeping with multiple possible outcomes:
Suspended in vapor til desire's distillation.

---- Big Frank Dickinson

Mary Jo Bang (on desire)



Big Frank has been reading a very good American poet: Mary Jo Bang. She has a poem below on desire. As Paul Simon wrote "The open palm of desire/ wants everything/ wants everything". The way it gets it is through, as Bang writes, "the hard wire argument given to the mind's unstoppable mouth." This is what Big Frank calls The Voice. Bang's title, "Definitely", hits the assurance with which the argument is presented. It comes from her most recent collection of poetry, Elegy, written after the death of her only son from an overdose of prescription drugs. It was the winner of the 2007 National Book Critics Circle Award for Poetry.


Definitely
What is desire
But the hardwire argument given
To the mind's unstoppable mouth.

Inside the braincase, it's I
Want that fills every blank.
And then the hand
Reaches for the pleasure

The plastic snake offers. Someone says, Yes,
It will all be fine in some future soon.
Definitely. I've conjured a body

In the chair before me. Be yourself, I tell it.
Here memory makes you
Unchangeable: that shirt, those summer pants.

That beautiful face.
That tragic beautiful mind.
That mind's ravenous mouth

That told you, This isn't poison
At all but just what the machine needs. And then,
The mouth closes on its hunger.

The heart stops.
---- Mary Jo Bang

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanksgiving Indeed

Thanksgiving in Denver was indeed an occasion for giving thanks. Thanks that a good portion Big Frank's family was able to come together. It was a pivotal time for Big Frank's brother Dan, who is facing some difficult decision with his myeloma treatment. You can visit his blog to see the particulars of the choice that he has to make. The family could not give him the answers, but we did give him our love and our thanks for his being such an important part of all of our lives.






Susan cooked up a terrific Thanksgiving meal, an amazing spread of dishes that everyone enjoyed thoroughly. Dan and Susan invited a number of friends and in total there were 14 sitting down to share the Thanksgiving feast. Dan said a touching prayer that Big Frank wishes he could repeat, but faulty memory won't allow it. Family and friends sharing a meal and talk way into the evening - this is something that Big Frank gives thanks for. Dan and Susan: Thank You!