Authentic Happiness

It is interesting that for much of the history of psychology, it focussed its research on abnormal psychology - a litany of the unhappy. However, that has changed in recent years, and Martin Seligman is one of those leading the charge towards learning more about authentic happiness. This study of positive emotions and positive character traits is called Positive Psychology. For those of you who are interested, Big Frank encourages you to visit Martin Seligman's website at the University of Pennsylvania. His website offers lots of information on what positive psychology is and on how it can actually be applied. His research has shown how it is possible "to be happier — to feel more satisfied, to be more engaged with life, find more meaning, have higher hopes, and probably even laugh and smile more, regardless of one’s circumstances." In addition, and this is the fun part. His site is full of great questionnaires, a list of some:

• Compassionate Love Scale


• Stengths Test


• Gratitude Questionnaire


• Optimism Test


• Close Relationships Questionnaire


• Meaning in Life Questionnaire


• Satisfaction in Life Scale


• Measurement of Current Happiness Questinnaire

Dr. Seligman is also looking for people to participate in research. When you go to his site - it will ask you to register (very brief number of questions - nothing intrusive), and then you have full access to all of the above, and much much more.

Answers to - Are you Sane?

The genuinely sane person would answer these questions as follows. If you are interested in why then read this article by Hayakawa and find out.

1. No (Sane people are not, the ordinary sense of the term, "well-adjusted." His relation to the society around him may be described somewhat as follows: h is in and of the society of which he is a member, but he is ot a prisoner of that society.)
2. Yes (The sane person is to an unusual degree accessibly aware of his feelings, emotions etc.)
3. A little (It is the individual who knows how little he knows about himself who stands a reasonable chance of finding out something about himself/herself before he dies.)
4. Yes (Genuinely sane people can tolerate the amiguous in life; they do not neglect the unknown, or deny it, or run away from it, or try to mkake believe it really is known, nor do they roganize it prematurely.)
5. Yes (A genuinely sane person can tolerate much ambiguity where amiguity exits; receiving much conflicting information without forcing closure on the situation.)
6. Low (Genuinely sane people have a wonderful capacity to experience at lower levels of abstraction; they react to the specific without placing events, perceptions, people etc. into categories.)
7. Yes (The genuinely sane person can accept themselves at all leves (love, safety, belongingness, honor, self-respect as long as all the so called lower levels.)
8. No (The genuinely sane person does not view what they do as a means to an end, but rather as an act of pleasure to be undertaken for its own sake.)
9. Yes (Because the fully functioning person's experience, past and present, are accessible to awareness, because he sees freshly and without rigid categorizing or labeling of the situation before him, he lutimately is his own judge of what is the needed solution for any given problem.
10. Yes (Because such feelings can arise from non-neurotic sources in this troubled world -- so that externally he (or she) may look just as troubled and act just as troubled as a neurotic person, because there are troubles in the world which cause doubt, anxiety, and forboding. But his troubles would be real ones and not self-contrived ones.)

Flow Tracking Day # 7

Big Frank spent day # 7, the last of his experiment, much in the flow. Rather than get into any analysis of the results of this experiment now, Big Frank will report on this last day and then leave the report for later. So here's day 7.

1. Big Frank attends a lot of meetings as part of his job. Usually these kinds of meetings are not condusive to flow in the least. However, Big Frank has discovered how to productively use this time - when the meeting is taken over by the redundant repetition of the obvious, and the tangential expeditions of those oblivious to the agenda at hand. Big Frank's solution, at these time, is to write aphorisms. The technique is to pay very close attention to everything that is happening at the meeting - what is said, the reaction of those attending, and the context within which all this is happening. The result is . . . Big Frank enters the flow. Here are his aphorisms from this morning's meeting. Categorize as WRITING.

1. Hair is a face frame.

2. Your honesty with yourself is your window into your character.

3. Your secrets are your treasures.

4. If there were no gravity our heads would be in the middle of our bodies.

5. Small talk is like treading water: it serves a purpose in emergencies or pauses, but gets you nowhere.

6. Nonverbal communication is the silent percussion of speech.

2. Big Frank organized a new meetup this evening: Social Adventurers. Ten people signed up but only three actually showed up. This seemed like it should have been a failure of sorts and one that would have resulted in worry and contemplation of mistakes. However, just the opposite happened. The three people who did show up got into a very animated discussion about something quite apart from the purpose of this group. While this was, in a sense, off the mark - still it did get Big Frank into the flow. Categorize as SOCIALIZING.

Flow Tracking Day # 6

Big Frank was well into the flow of it all today. The day seemed to fly by; time seems to not be much present during flow. So here's what it was all about.

1. Big Frank spent much of the day filling out an application and writing the project statement for a Fulbright application. The amount of information required is timeconsuming: biographical, work experience, responsibilities, awards, college descriptions, program descriptions, demographic information, trends, etc. etc. Then there is the contacting of people to be referees and sending them all the relevant information on what the Fulbright program is that he's applying for and the project that he envisions implementing. It took hours and hours and throughout Big Frank was totally in the flow of it all - it did require skill and it was a challenge. Categorize as WRITING.

2. When Big Frank wasn't working on the above, he was writing to agents in India and Vietnam to make appointments for his upcoming February trip. Balancing schedules and trying to fit everyone in a limited time schedule takes patient and skill - especially when you are working via e-mail and there so many people to accommodate. This demands focus and got Big Frank into the flow. Categorize as SCHEDULING/ PLANNING.

2. During Big Frank's lunch (he actually took a half hour for it) he put aside the application and project writing and did some reading. He read "Reality Check" the latest collection of poetry by a great Irish poet, Dennis O'Driscoll. This put him in the flow. Categorize as READING POETRY.

3. After work Big Frank headed to the gym for a workout. He lifted some weights and did a good solid three miles on the treadmill. While running he listened to Sade - especially "Is It A Crime". This is the first time that Big Frank ran to her music and it really got him into the flow - great running music. Categorize as RUNNING/LISTENING TO MUSIC.

Here's a poem from Dennis O'Driscoll's "Reality Check":

The Clock

With only one story to tell, the clock strikes
a monotonous note, irrespective of how
musical the bell, how gilded the chimes
its timely conclusions report through.
Time literally on hands, it informs you
to your face exactly where you stand
in relation to your aspirations, stacks up
the odds against your long-term prospects,
leaves your hopes and expectations checked.
Keeping track of time to the last second, it gives
the lie to all small talk about your reputedly
youthful looks, sees through the subterfuge
of dyed hair, exposes the stark truth beneath
the massaged evidence of smooth skin.

---- Dennis O'Driscoll

Flow Tracking Day # 5

Hey - getting into the flow on Monday is a challenge. Big Frank was having trouble getting going this morning. He said to himself (yeah, when you live by yourself you end up talking to yourself a lot), "Blah, getting up and going to work today is not what I want to do." He was definitely not in the flow, and was feeling bummed out - in a kind of antiflow. But, in keeping with this experiment Big Frank will give the moments of flow for today and not the unflow or antiflow, or whatever - perhaps - lack of flow. So here they are:

1. Potluck at work with the staff he works with. This was in the flow - a group of people each bringing food that they had cooked specially in for this event (well, except for Big Frank, who forgot about it and - adding to the bummer start - had to go shopping for food this morning). Sitting around together and sharing food and talking about stuff that doesn't have anything to do with work - in the flow! Categorize as EATING/SOCIALIZING.

2. Discussing the concept of honest with the philosophy meetup group. The topic was "What is honesty?" There were about 15 people and the discussion was far ranging, personal, occassionally abstract, and sometimes even philosophical, but sharing thoughts and feelings, and following what others were saying was definitely being in flow. The feelings and ideas were challenging and thought provoking. Categorize as DISCUSSING/SOCIALIZING.

Flow Tracking Day # 3

Big Frank had a couple of good flows today.

1. Snowshoeing at Mt. Spokane State Park. It was extremely quiet - the only sound being the squeeking and the crunching of the snowshoes as Big Frank moved along the trail. That movement settled into a kind of rhythm and with the crisp cool air, the cedar lined trail, and brilliant white snow everywhere Big Frank definitely got into the flow of the moment. It was terrific. Categorize as SNOWSHOEING.

2. Driving back Big Frank put on Grant Green's amazing "Idle Moments" accompanied by Joe Henderson on tenor, and Bobby Hutchison on vibes - it is a classic. This is classic jazz in every sense of the word. It is one of those jazz songs where the melody falls just a fraction of a second behind the beat creating such a laid back hip sound that it takes you away. Categorize as DRIVING/MUSIC.

3. During the evening in honor of the Year of the Ox, Big Frank went to a Chineese New Year party prepared and served by Chinese friends of Big Frank's. In the company of lots of friends, with terrific Chinese food, and great conversation flow was easily achieved. Categorize as SOCIALIZING/EATING.

4. Reading Wallace Stevens' aphorisms. As with all good aphorisms - and Stevens' are good - they make you look at things anew - differently. They challenge your view and in thought take you away from yourself - from thinking of yourself. Categorize as READING/THINKING

Here are ten of Big Frank's favorite Wallace Stevens aphorisms:

Life is an affair of people not of places. but for me life is an affair of places and that is the trouble.

Thought is an infection. In the case of certain thoughts it becomes an epidemic.

What we see in the mind is as real to us as what we see by the eye.

Sentimentality is a failure of feeling.

The final belief is to believe in a fiction, which you know to be a fiction, there being nothing else. The exquisite truth is to know that it is a fiction and that you believe in it willingly.

We live in the mind.

When the mind is like a hall in which thought is like a voice speaking, the voice is always that of some one else.

The more intensely one feels something that one likes the more one is willing for it to be what it is.

The mind that in heaven created the earth and the mind that on earth created heaven were, as it happened one.

Reality is not what it is. It consists of the many realities which it can be made into.

Flow Tracking Day # 2

Same start - like everyday, and no flow in going throught those morning routines. Big Frank wonders if getting up and getting going could, in some way, every put one into FLOW. Perhaps there is a different approach.

First stop today was the county jail. No flow there. Just visiting someone and trying to help him figure out what to do to get his plan going to get out. Big Frank thinks there's little flow in places like that.

However, this posting is rather more about times when flow occurs. So here they are:

1. Planning a trip to Southeast Asia, making plane reservation that will take Big Frank all the way around the world, picking out hotels in Ho Chi Minh City, Bangkok, and Delhi. Time melts away in the details and decisions and double checking with travel agents. Categorize as PLANNING/TRAVEL.

2. Eating sushi. Big Frank went out after work with The Foodies - a meetup group that eats at various restaurants and does potlucks. It's all about food - well, and conversation while eating also. Eating is not an especially challenging activity - actually pretty much anybody can do it, and it requires practically no skill whatsoever. Maybe not real high flow, but eating good food (sushi and sashimi is about as good as it gets) does induce flow. Categorize as EATING/SOCIALIZING.

3. Drinking wine. Big Frank went out for a couple of drinks with his blogging buddy, Magne, after the sashimi dinner. It's much like eating - drinking wine and talking with someone with whom the conversation is good - you're in the flow when you do that. Categorize as DRINKING/SOCIALIZING.

Flow Tracking Day # 1

Big Frank was tuned in today to FLOW. This is a report of discovered times of flow - no sense, for now anyway, in reporting those times when it was lacking. When Big Frank got up this morning, had his coffee, showered, read the NY Times, and got dressed - the flow was pretty slow. Let's concentrate on when things were good and he actually experienced some flow. He reckons that there were three times during the day when that happened.

1. Driving across town listening to Lee Ann Womack sing "If You're Ever Down In Dallas" he felt good. This doesn't really seem to fit within the criteria of relatively high challenge met by relatively high skill. Driving is not all that much of a highly developed skill, but under the right conditions it can induce happiness. Big Frank thinks we all know of times - the right tune is on and we just get get into the flow of the moment felling very good. So categorize this one DRIVING/LISTENING TO MUSIC.

2. Working on addressing a problem There was a person who was arrested, had spent the night in jail, and was a foreigner. So without getting into too much revealing detail, let's just say that in my position Big Frank had to contact that person's consulate, contact the jail, see if the public defender's office was representing him, what the charges were, had bail been met, when could I visit him, etc. etc. In the effort to gather all this information Big Frank was into the moment and out of himself. It was not the same kind of happiness as driving, but it was definitely a feeling of being engaged and not aware of himself. Let categorize this one as "SOLVING A PROBLEM/INTERACTING WITH PEOPLE.

3. Exercising in the gym while listening to a song of Pat Methaney's - "Are You Going With Me" from the CD "Off Ramp. This was while Big Frank was actually walking on the treadmill, warming up for his run. The warm up with this great tune got him into a much better sense of flow that when he was running the 3 miles that followed this warm up. This tune may just be the best warming up tune ever - listen and then use it and experience the flow yourself! Categorize it as EXERCISING/ LISTENING TO MUSIC.

So Big Frank immediately sees a pattern here with music. Driving was something of a surprise, but it probably shouldn't have been.

Track the good times

Big Frank has been thinking about the good times, and paying more attention to them. When you are really involved in creating something new you don't have enough attention left to monitor your identity (your problems, hunger, anxiety, etc. - all of these disappear from your conciousness). Something that requires a lot of attention leaves your existence unattended (that's a good thing - that's when you are in flow!). You don't think, you merge yourself with your activity. Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (pronounced chick-sent-me-high-ee) talks about this state of flow at TED. He explains how it feels to be in flow. At that time you

• Are completely involved in what you are doing.
• Are in a state of ecstasy (outside normal reality)
• Experience a sense of inner clarity
• Know that the activity is doable
• Have a sense of serenity (no worries - outside the ego)
• Feel a sense of timelessness (thoroughly focussed on the present)
• Have intrinsic motivation

Csikszentmihalyi came to these results by collecting data from people by paging them 10 times per day and asking them to record what they were doing, how they were feeling, and to note the amount of skill they needed at that time along with the challenge being faced. It turns out that when both are high, but not too high, flow can often be found. This is when people typically are most happy.

So join Big Frank in his own experiment and note for yourselves during the day when you are most happy:

• Where are you?
• What are you doing?
• How much of a challenge are you facing?
• How much skill is required to do what you are doing?

When are you in flow? Big Frank is going to track his flow and post his results here. He welcomes anybody else to do the same.