Berlin and Konrad

Big Frank is heading out to Berlin to do some work, and to see his son, Konrad. It's wheels up Halloween morning, so no trick or treating for Big Frank (he doesn't think that wearing a mask on the plane would go over well). This city has a way of casting a gray spell over Big Frank and he is hoping that this trip will be better than previous ones. For some reason, probably the weather has a lot to do with it, it is a very gloomy city in November: lots of rain, and cloudy cloudy skies. Still it is an exciting city, wonderful museums, great shopping, and casinos! Spielbank Berlin is the largest casino there on Potsdamer Platz (also the site of the great Rauschenberg neon bike installation). Konrad is determined to take his dad there and break the bank. Big Frank is a little leary of this, being somewhat of a fatalist concerning his luck in this city. But, as they say (bad luck is just good luck waiting to happen) - actually Big Frank is not sure anyone ever said that, but if not, then he claims it. In any case, being with his son is good luck enough. Big Frank will be taking a camera and will be posting while there. So stay tuned for Berlin updates. The picture above is from Big Frank's last trip with Konrad - they're being tourists.

Big Frank introduces his brother Dan

And now it's time to introduce Big Frank's younger brother. No he's not Little Frank; his name is Dan – and he's much, much bigger than Big Frank, in many ways. Dan is a brother with a big B, and always has been. What are the connotations of the word, "brother"? Beyond being a sibling, it connotes empathetic support, wise counsel, fun buddy, best friend, and mentor. Dan is all of this and more. Like most brothers, Dan, doesn't pull any punches when it comes to setting his older brother straight; maybe in time he'll even be able to take some credit for actually straightening Big Frank out completely. Everyone knows someone that they turn to when life deals them a hard blow – that's Dan. Not so many know someone dealt as severe a blow as Dan has received, who can still serve as a source of strength to so many. Fewer know someone whose life is a true reflection of their values – that's Dan. Still fewer know someone whose gracious honorableness is as acknowledged by so many – that's Dan. Dan's all of that and more – he's my bro! To know him is to want to be with him – and to have him as my brother is my blessing.

And after that it wouldn't surprise anyone to know that Dan is the sole public follower of "WHAT IT IS". In fact, his starting a blog was in many ways an inspiration for Big Frank to start his. So check out The Scoop on Dan – his blog, and drop him a note to say Hi. Tell him Big Frank sent you.

Let Me Present

The Presentation (of you)

By Big Frank Dickinson

“That's easily fixed” is said by the editor of moves;
as though cut and paste applied to actions.
The motivation comes from the home
of straight lines, eternal truths, and standards.
Yes, standards that may be deviated from
but only in reference to an overarching standard that is
never taken less seriously, by you, than in the dress rehearsals
where improvisation rules and you believe there is no audience.
Still these unrepresentative rehearsals (all preludes for later)
are often critiqued by those who are unaware that you’re still in rewrite, and
and off the mark of what you should have been. The standard applied.
Well now, that unreality of sorts is in fact true, you see what they can’t:
it’s not really you; here’s where the fact and the art part.
As much as you know the difference; and see it in terms of various yous
(there are a bunch of those), there is only one that matters,
the one that's marked your move, and it’s already been rejected
As much as you might enjoy a veal piccata on a plain white plate,
when it’s served in a bucket with a spade, there’s
something terribly wrong, so wrong that it will be
rejected even if you’re told that the essence was the same.
And while you’d never err so grossly, being only marginally off the mark,

a seal toccata, for example, will still leave you in the dark.

You Look Familiar

Well now, here’s a conversation that we’ve all had at one time or another, no? Well listen in then: it’s a good one. This poem is a lifting one; it will take you up beyond your rational mind’s limited reach. Each line in this poem by John Ashbery is a pearl – so I guess that makes the poem a necklace of pearls; and who ever cared what that meant. Put it around your neck and wear it for a while: you’ll be glad you did. You'll like it: Big Frank guarantees it! Surprised? I thought you would be. The imagination never ceases to delight: "We are afloat/ on our dreams as on a barge of ice,/ shot through with questions and fissures of starlight/ that keep us awake, thinking about the dreams as they are happening."

My Erotic Double

He says he doesn’t feel like working today.
It’s just as well. Here in the shade
Behind the house, protected from street noises,
One can go over all kinds of old feelings,
Throw some away, keep others.
The wordplay
Between us gets very intense when there are
Fewer feelings around to confuse things.
Another go-round? No, but the last things
You always find to say are charming, and rescue me
Before the night does. We are afloat
On our dreams as on a barge made of ice,
Shot through with questions and fissures of starlight
That keep us awake, thinking about the dreams
As they are happening. Some occurrence. You said it.

I said it but I can hide it. But I choose not to.
Thank you. You are a very pleasant person.
Thank you. You are too.

-- John Ashbery

Imagination and Poetry

There is palpable delight in musical poetry that defies meaning. It is like music in that what it brings to mind is unique to the listener/reader. Children would have no trouble responding to such poems – that’s why nursery rhymes are so nonsensically wonderful: children don’t ask what they mean, do they (Hey, diddle diddle the cat and the fidde/the cow jumped over the moon . . .)? Wallace Stevens wrote this about poetry: “ ...things that have their origin in the imagination or in the emotions very often take on a form that is ambiguous or uncertain. It is not possible to attach a single, rational meaning to such things without destroying the imaginative or emotional ambiguity or uncertainty that is inherent in them and that is why poets do not like to explain.” Here’s one of Stevens’ best poems. Read it with an active imagination and enjoy.

The Emperor of Ice-Cream

Call the roller of big cigars,
The muscular one, and bid him whip
In kitchen cups concupiscent curds.
Let the wenches dawdle in such dress
As they are used to wear, and let the boys
Bring flowers in last month's newspapers.
Let be be finale of seem.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

Take from the dresser of deal,
Lacking the three glass knobs, that sheet
On which she embroidered fantails once
And spread it so as to cover her face.
If her horny feet protrude, they come
To show how cold she is, and dumb.
Let the lamp affix its beam.
The only emperor is the emperor of ice-cream.

-- Wallace Stevens

Autumn Wonder

This time of the year is Big Frank’s favorite. The beautiful colors of the leaves, the harvest, the palpable feel of change, the chilling night air, all the memories that fall brings, etc. etc. It is an apt time for wonder. And it is, not surprisingly, a topic that has been written about voluminously by poets. It is interesting to note the common themes that accompany poetry on autumn: loss, melancholy, change, harvest, and the beauty of the changing leaves. Robert Frost’s well-known poem, “Nothing Gold Can Stay” well captures the melancholy change of autumn. It accents the inevitability of change and the ephemeral nature of life. This is the predominant take of poets. However, there are still quite a few who accent the ripening, colorful, joyful time of autumn (see "Merry Autumn" by Paul Laurence Dunbar). Richard Wilbur has written an amazing poem that balances all the above to an extraordinary way. His title, “The Beautiful Changes”, sums up the poem very well. It starts with an autumn scene and shows how the change of the season makes the scenes more beautiful. Then it moves to the person in that scene and by analogy shows how that person’s memory of someone “valleys” his mind in “fabulous blue”. The beautiful changes: here “changes” is not only a noun, but a verb as well. The beauty that surrounds you, that you live through changes you too. You absorb like a chameleon. What loss there is a kind one and takes you “back to wonder.”

The Beautiful Changes
by Richard Wilbur

One wading a Fall meadow finds on all sides
The Queen Anne’s Lace lying like lilies
On water; it glides
So from the walker, it turns
Dry grass to a lake, as the slightest shade of you
Valleys my mind in fabulous blue Lucernes.

The beautiful changes as a forest is changed
By a chameleon’s tuning his skin to it;
As a mantis, arranged
On a green leaf, grows
Into it, makes the leaf leafier, and proves
Any greenness is deeper than anyone knows.

Your hands hold roses always in a way that says
They are not only yours; the beautiful changes
In such kind ways,
Wishing ever to sunder
Things and things’ selves for a second finding, to lose
For a moment all that it touches back to wonder.

_________
Finally, the greatest version of the greatest autumn song, "Autumn Leaves", from Cannonball Adderely's album "Somethin' Else". Performed by Cannonball Adderely, Miles Davis, Hank Jones, Art Blakey, and Sam Jones. This song pulls all the disparate feelings of autumn together in breathtakingly beautiful way.

A Poem of Thanks

Big Frank woke up this morning with a commitment to gratitude in his heart. Maybe that's a bit new agey, but nonetheless that's what his heart told him: commit to gratitude. He believes that it's a recipe for happiness that resonates out from that grateful heart. And so here's a great poem by Anne Sexton on just that point. It's a wise approach to take - be grateful for those who come into your life - they are your abundance.

THE BIG HEART

"Too many things are occurring for even a big heart to hold."
From an essay by W. B. Yeats

Big heart,
wide as a watermelon,
but wise as birth,
there is so much abundance
in the people I have:
Max, Lois, Joe, Louise,
Joan, Marie, Dawn,
Arlene, Father Dunne,
and all in their short lives
give to me repeatedly,
in the way the sea
places its many fingers on the shore,
again and again
and they know me,
they help me unravel,
they listen with ears made of conch shells,
they speak back with the wine of the best region.
They are my staff.
They comfort me.

They hear how
the artery of my soul has been severed
and soul is spurting out upon them,
bleeding on them,
messing up their clothes,
dirtying their shoes.
And God is filling me,
though there are times of doubt
as hollow as the Grand Canyon,
still God is filling me.
He is giving me the thoughts of dogs,
the spider in its intricate web,
the sun
in all its amazement,
and a slain ram
that is the glory,
the mystery of great cost,
and my heart,
which is very big,
I promise it is very large,
a monster of sorts,
takes it all in--
all in comes the fury of love.


Anne Sexton

The Unique World of Kenneth Patchen

Big Frank has been reading Aflame And Afun Of Walking Faces by Kenneth Patchen. These very short stories are wonderfully unique. He creates a fantasy world that beggars description, but after you have read even a smidgen of it, a daze of wonder will envelope you completely. Below is an abridged sample, just to whet your whistles:

Moondogg And The One-Armed Dentist's Sister

Under silver maskery of hours like frozen waves -- when those whom eternity accosts have palely come -- within sound of the chimmey's gray-petalled wound, Moondogg quietly waits, waits for the maiden of gray tears to climb to a place beside him.

Blurred golden eyes peer up from the winding motorway, while furry lids softer than a bat's nipples open and close over harbor and listening vineyards, silhouettes against which the grieving hands of fogbells vainly beat . . . peril and longing bedded down like sad crones in a stuff any child might pick apart as easily as the hangman of romance the cottony breath of a thief falsely accused (perhaps of one's very own family) . . .

Now, in the only moment for that, she climbs like a struggle of scissors to where the sky ends so unimportantly -- in a roof . . . thereupon Moondogg inquired, "Well -- that is, tell me first did you have a fine day?" and he falls to kissing her dangling arms and forehead.

Birds of ice with blunted gray beaks tear at the shrouding waves. O then sobbing into his cruel pale curls, she will answer: "Take me with you. O now take me, take me with you . . . in three weeks less a day I shall be fifty-seven years old." . . .

[Not to worry Moondogg does take her with him; she holds on to his furry belly and they fly off (hey, he's a moondogg ) together, but first they make a quick swoop through her dentist brother's open window.]

Who Knows?

Nobody Knows

Nobody knows where the light ends up.
Nobody knows what the darkness rides.
Nobody knows what the wind is whispering.
Nobody knows why the stars still hide.
Nobody knows how it all got started.
Nobody knows why it's so uncharted;
That's how it goes,
Nobody knows.

Nobody knows the source of fire.
Nobody knows what's behind the screen.
Nobody knows the angel's ire.
Nobody knows what it all can mean.

Nobody knows what the beat conceals.
Nobody knows if the rhythm's right.
Even if it blows.
Nobody knows.

Nobody knows.
Nobody knows.
Without their rose,
Nobody knows.

Nobody knows why the heart keeps beating,
Nobody knows why the planet turns,
With a wobble as it goes,
Nobody knows.

-- Big Frank Dickinson (with apologies to Leonard Cohen)

Just For Today

Good Morning Friday, October 24. Funny, it seems like a pretty ordinary one at that. It's the upside of the downside and the other end of another as well as the first of the rest. The inside of that outside, and left of the right - OK, enough of that. To be frank (and what else can I be) this day was long in coming behind all those that preceded it built it and built me and we are a perfect match in every way. Big Frank takes this day with all that preceded it, embraces it, and will not turn away from it with backward glances nor with forward ones. He embraces the gap between now and then as between now and yet to be; living in the pause between two breaths. Big Frank knows that's a tall order, but he's not called Big for nothing - yeah, right. So, join Big Frank: take a deep breath . . . (are you there :) . . . now exhale. That's all there is to it.

Here is the song for the day Leonard Cohen's I'm Your Man : one of his best.

Sade

Sade (pronounced “shah-day”) has given the world some amazing music. What a voice, what great songs, and . . . where is she now, and what is she doing? That’s hard to know. What we do know is that she was born Helen Folasade Adu in Ibadon, Nigeria to a Nigerian father and a British mother. Her parents separated when she was 4 and she moved to England where she grew up listening to soul singers Marvin Gaye, Curtis Mafield, and Donny Hathaway. She studied fashion and was recruited as a temporary vocalist in a local band. The rest is history – especially after she wrote and performed her first breakthrough hit “Smooth Operator”, after which she started her own group and went on to put out a series of great albums. She has sold close to 40 million albums worldwide, and has received a number of Grammy Awards including Best New Artist for 1985. Her last album was “Lovers Rock” released in November 2000. When will she give us a new album?

Here’s her discography:

1984: Diamond Life
1985: Promise
1988: Stronger Than Pride
1992: Love Deluxe
1994: The Best of Sade
1999: Remix Deluxe
2000: Lovers Rock
2002: Lovers Live CD
2002: Lovers Live DVD
2003: Lovers Rock/Lovers Live DVD - Combo Pack

If you like her albums you will love watching her perform live. This is a link to her performing “Kiss of Life” – enjoy!

Varieties of Light

It has been quite some time since Big Frank wrote any travesties. So here’s one new one. First a poem by Charles Simic called October Light. It’s one of those wistful poems of memory whispering to the poet of images and feelings past in time but present in all other ways.

October Light

That same light by which I saw her last
Made me close my eyes now in revery
Remembering how she sat in the garden

With a red shawl over her shoulders
And a small book in her lap,
Once in a long while looking up

With the day’s brightness on her face
As if to appraise something of utmost seriousness
She has just read at least twice,

With the sky clear and open to view,
Because the leaves had already fallen
And lay still around her two feet.

-- Charles Simic

And then Big Frank's travesty of Simic; one that leans on memory, but uses shadow rather than light, aside from the glint.




Shadow Pool

That shadow in which I sat
Took me back to her without the gloom,
Recalling how she sat across from me

With a smile upon her lips
And a gaze that journeyed far,
Over my shoulder and out of the room.

The smile with me and the eyes
Far gone by glint, but still
Engaged by dint of occasional flickers,

Echoing in the penetration of,
The dark pool of light in which
We bathed without a single ripple.

-- Big Frank Dickinson

A Poem

Duality Of Wistfulness Ever Long Looming

Confidently trudging up slopes with ears exposed,
Adroitly placing open shoes in snow prints; you
Relishing the fresh air and the cold so often.
Or equally at ease, pampered and purred;
Languidly lying low . . in the soothing,
You melt into the glow of warm ease.
No such words can contain you, so . . .

--- Big Frank Dickinson

Anticipation

Oh No
By Big Frank Dickinson

A flashing light in the rearview mirror;
Midnight telephone’s blast of fear;
The watched phone that never rings;
The screaming silence a gaff brings.

A manila envelope at your door;
That lump that wasn’t there before;
A shadow leaking from the alley;
Money owed that will not tally.

The lost grip and subsequent slip.
The bedside monitor’s sudden blip.
The memory that won’t let you rest;
The necessary but forgotten test.

The silence of the alarm unheard;
The openhearted offer spurned.
The only possible option closed;
The painful secret now exposed.

The shock inhabits all of you
From head through heart it’s true;
In fact what really vexed
Is what you think comes next.

Conscious Creation

Lucid dreaming has Big Franks’ attention lately. The concept is intriguing: the dreamer controls the dream, and can determine scene, plot, character, dialogue, interactions, outcomes . . . everything! Now, Big Frank has to be honest about this; he cannot do this . . . just yet, that is. However, it is conceivable that through this kind of dreaming one could reverse any setbacks in your dream, could put more than a positive spin on events – one could actually change events manipulating the outcome that one wanted. Consider the possibilities. In waking life it is generally acknowledged that humans have the capacity to synthesize happiness. We have all done this. You have some setback, some seemingly unfortunate occurrence: a career stumble, a rejection in a personal relationship, a financial disappointment. You can react positively or negatively to these events. The positive reaction entails some use of explanation (whether true or not) to remove the uncertainty and mystery of the event. We tend to chew on things that don't make sense to us; this leads to stress, worry, and generally prolonged unease. When people write or talk about such events, make sense of them (if only to themselves) they can spin the event they preveously viewed as a negative into a positive one, and make themselves happy! For example, someone applies for a job, doesn't get it, is initially upset, and then convinces himself that it wasn't the right job and there are much better ones still out there. James Pennebaker has written extensively on this, as has Daniel Gilbert, and Jonathan Haidt.

However, and this is where Big Frank takes a radical turn, what if you could not only put a positive spin on events, but could actually change them! Who would not want that power? If, for example, one could master the art of lucid dreaming and create a duplicate of your waking world, then you could begin to manipulate it, tweaking it, or radically changing it to make it more compatible to you. There would be no surprises, no set backs, no disappointments. Big Frank is curious about how this would turn out. Would the dreamer end up, through his overarching egotism and desire's inherent insatiability, in creating a complete hell or a heaven on earth (in your dreams!). You the dreamer become The Creator!

Lucid Dreaming

Big Frank had indicated that there would be a follow-up on lucid dreaming. Essentially another name for lucid dreaming is conscious dreaming. When the dreamer is having a lucid dream it is possible for this person to not only be aware that he or she is in a dream, but also participate actively in the dream by even manipulating the the dream experience to suit the dreamer. For those interested in a more comprehensive summary of lucid dreaming go to this article in wikipedia or the lucid dreaming website.

There are many techniques for inducing lucid dreams: recalling dreams is a good first step and reviewing them afterwards, waking during a dream and then going back to sleep, and reality testing techniques can help make yourself aware during a dream that it is in fact a dream (looking at your hand, looking at your digital watch to see the numbers randomly change, flipping on a light switch because light levels don't change in dreams, or looking in a mirror because the images there are often blurred or distorted). Then when you can discover when you are dreaming the next step is to begin to manipulate and control the dream.

As you can imagine there are many many benefits of being able to dream lucidly. You can dispel nightmares, you gain a sense of control, and you can have a lot of fun (think about it - in the extreme you create the dreamworld; you are becoming god-like!). In many yoga traditions lucid dreaming is used to become aware of the insubstantial nature not only of dreams, but of your waking life too! In this way one can awaken to the true reality of the self.

Big Frank isn't quite there just yet, but he is on the road. He is thinking that perhaps in this state, for example, if the guest bearing bad news appears he could, in the dream, turn it into good news! It is conceivable that with practice and growing expertise that one would then begin to view dreams the way most people view life now - a state of consciousness where you have some control. In fact, it is possible that one could begin to prefer the dream-state because it hypothetically offers more control than the waking state. In fact, over time Big Frank or you could create your own paradise - would anyone really want that; and would that be a paradise?

The Unexpected Guest is Welcomed Home

The Unexpected Guest Welcomed
By Big Frank Dickinson

The road to your home seems quietly untravelled,
and the sun has not yet risen. Still with the night
fog lingering, a blanket of uncertainty surrounds.

Inevitably, your door is found, and there is a
hollow knock; unexpected, but immediately recognized.
You open as the fog lifts revealing the change.

Your guest has found you; though you wish otherwise.
You cannot turn this one away: “Please come in.”,
you graciously say, in spite of yourself.

“I don’t know how to say this . . .”
“This is hard to say . . .”
“I’m sorry but you need to know.”

And you do need to know; though
you’d rather not; and so you find
yourself saying: “Please have a seat.”

You must say that; and you have.
You welcome this unwelcome guest
to feel as at home as you wish you were.

Sleep Postures

Big Frank has not been sleeping all that well lately. In his wakefulness he has become more aware of the various positions that are available to sleep in and became curious about the difference among them. So here is a brief summary of the most common sleep postures. Note rare positions are not included (standing up, sitting, etc.)

So what are the most common sleep postures and what do they reveal about the sleeper, and what kind of effect do they have on the sleeper? Professor Chris Idzikowski, director of the UK Sleep Assessment and Advisory Service categorizes them as follows:
1. The stomach sleeper he calls a “Freefaller”: outgoing and brash; they can nonetheless be surprisingly vulnerable and adverse to danger and criticism.
2. The on the back with arms at the side sleeper he calls “The Soldier”: quiet and reserved, these people dislike any fuss or bother and set equally high standards for both themselves and others. Real troopers!
3. The on the back with arms raised near the head "Starfish" are good listeners, and they avoid being the center of attention.
4. The "Fetal" position is the most common and is generally indicative of thick skin but tender hearted. Over twice as many women as men sleep in this position.
5. Those who sleep on their side with hands straight along their bodies "Log" are sociable, easy going, high status seekers, very trusting – even gullible.
6. Side sleepers with arms stretched out "Yearner" are generally accepting but suspicious – even cynical. They take their time in making decisions but once made are very stubborn.

In some schools of yoga there are beliefs concerning the advisability of the three basic postures: side, back or stomach. These positions are related to their openness to the three basic spiritual components of the universe: sattva (purity and knowledge), raja (action and passion), and tama (ignorance and inertia). It appears that the sleeping on the side is recommended for most people as it opens the sleeper to influence from the sattva and raja components. Sleeping on the back (for the spiritually advanced is open to the sattva component, but for the nonadvanced it encourages tama). The stomach sleepers are always vulnerable to tama. Finally, there may be a connection between sleep postures and lucid dreaming. If any of you readers would like to participate in a study on this subject please go to this link for more information. More of lucid dreaming in posts to follow.

Where have all the onsens gone?

Big Frank is back in the land of the swinging doors, but already misses the Japanese onsen. This is one of the best things about Japan. Their hot springs or onsen, as they call them, are a delight to the skin and even more so to the soul. There are over 20,000 onsen in Japan. During the four years that Big Frank lived in Japan he usually went to an onsen at least once a week. In his recent trip to Japan he visited three. An onsen is minimally a pool of hot mineral water that you can soak in. The typial routine is to wash before - usually sitting on a stool with a small bucket and a shower spray. Then the soaking begins. This is done without clothes (the onsen usually have separate facilities for men and women, but some rural areas have joint onsen, which are usually only visited by families or couples). Usually, the soaking pools are very beautifully situated so as to sooth the soaker, as much by the atmosphere as by the hot water. They have a contemplative, meditative feel to them; one does not find recreational equipment in them - no slides, or diving boards, and people do not shout and run around there. The onsen can be situated indoors, or outdoors, and often has a variety of hot pools of various temperatures from the scalding to the luke warm, and also a cold soaking pool: these are visited in whatever sequence the soaker likes. A typical visit can take from 15 minutes to over an hour. It often has a sauna in the area and sometimes a steamroom also. It can also include some kind of optional massage, followed by a dark quiet room for relaxing in after the soaking. Big Frank hasn't found anything in the U.S. close to what he has experienced in Japan, but he is now determined to find the best spas available in the U.S. and start visiting them pronto. If any of you readers know of any to please write in your comments where they are. More will follow of Big Frank's research into this. Above is a photo of one of the more scenic ones in Japan - the outdoor ones are definitely the best.

Here's a link to a basic description with pictures of what an onsen is and what is done there. Here is a link to a list of over 100 onsen with descriptions and photos.

Tomorrow Land Fades to Yesterday

Big Frank has seen the rising sun set; has polished off platters of sashimi; has soaked his bones in bubbling mineral water; has stood toe to toe to toe to toe with Tokyo commuters; and has even taken a bow or two, or three. Now . . . it’s time for his repatriation and so he’s heading back where he came from; no, not North Dakota, Spokane. He’ll be sliding across the Pacific sky in a long silver aluminum tube with jet engines attached to its sides, and (this is the really neat part) he arrives before he leaves!! Try to wrap your noodle around that one. That’s right Big Frank is actually in the future right now and when he returns from the future he gets the day back that the past owes him for when he lost a day (that’s what happened when he jumped into the future). (There is no better proof of being in the future than the photo above - it was taken in the Namba neighborhood of Osaka, Ridley Scott's inspiration for the futuristic cityscape of Blade Runner - this is definitely not todayland.) So Big Frank needs to mark this day down – October 14; because he will be living it twice!! And . . . he sure hopes that it’s a good one – what a bummer it would be to have to repeat a crappy day! So catch you all tomorrow – yesterday!

The Void versus You

"The unhappy person is one who has his ideal, the content of his life, the fullness of his consciousness, the essence of his being, in some manner outside of himself. He is always absent, never present to himself."

-- Soren Kierkegaard from "Either/Or, Volume 1"


The Absences Abound
By Big Frank Dickinson

Absences always outnumber the presences
in our life. What is not is always greater than
what is. Space dwarfs matter and possibilities
Always render what is, small and restrictive.

From the big stuff down to the tiny,
Holes overwhelm what surrounds them.
The gaps are in the majority and the pauses
Are the real substances of time’s trail.

The celestial music is mostly rests;
And death is so much longer than life;
Space is mostly just that – lots of empties;
And the atom is a punctuated lack.

Your bank account balance is only one figure;
Its possible sums are infinite,
as are the things that those numbers could get;
along with status, regard, and, yes, even regret.

So why not embrace what is not
And learn to love what you lack;
There is so much there even if
It’s like embracing air.

That is, unless you have the gravitas
To pull matter and its ghosts into you.
Or become so entirely empty that everything
Comes to fill you up (it does abhor a vacuum).

So turn your lack around and recall this truth:
Without the rests the tune's mere noise, for it's
The pauses that keep the song on track.
Absences are the measure of what you have.

New Trend in Architecture: ROCKETS!

Big Frank was struck by a new building that seemingly just sproated up overnight in Shinjuku. It's the new HAL (game design company) building. It is beautiful and it looks just like a rocket. Here's a link to what the inside of the building looks like. Maybe this is some kind of a trend, take a look at, for example the new Swiss Re Building in London. One might start thinking that these could be so obviously rockets that nobody would actually believe that they were indeed rockets. In this way people in various cities are preparing the exodus from this threatened world of ours. Big Frank took a couple of photos of the building and the one above left looks pretty standard, but the next one, below right, (taken only 30 seconds later from pretty much the same place) seemed to have captured some effervescence-like substance surrounding the rocket building that could be indicative of some real funny business (gassing up, beaming down . . . who knows??).

Sushi in Tokyo

Big Frank has been going to the same small family run sushi bar for about 8 years. This evening he headed over there once again. It's located in Shinjuku on the corner of a busy street. Sad to say it closed! I think their prices were too low; I mean right in the middle of Tokyo - a good full serving of sashimi and sushi with miso soup and beer for only about $15.00! Too good to be true. So Big Frank wandered on into new neighborhoods in search of a replacement. He found a reasonable facimile about a half mile down the road on a side street. It had the baseball game on, and two sushi chefs behind the counter where I sat. In the back were a couple of tables of businessmen enjoying sushi and the end of their work day. I ordered the seto - six pieces of sushi, six pieces of sashimi, miso soup, and a salad! I was a little leary of the salad, but it was actually pretty good: lettuce and octopus with a light vinagrette dressing. I enjoyed the meal, but it wasn't the same. (Oh, and it cost over twice what the other place charges, but I expect this one will survive). The photo is of the entrance to this sushi bar: may they prosper.

Taking Off

Big Frank is taking off tomorrow morning for 10 days in the land of the sliding doors. He'll be in Nagoya, Tokyo, and Osaka. Japan is a terrific country to be in either for a short or long time. The food is outstanding, the people unfailingly hospitable, the onsen soothing, and fashion cutting edge. What's not to like? Well, one thing is the trip over and back -- one has to get into the zone and just let the time and distance wash over you. Big Frank views journeys as opportunities, not only to travel in space and time, but also to travel to new personal spaces. When one interrupts the usual routines it allows for new observations to impinge on your psyche and that can lead to change. Departure as arrival; going as coming; absence as presence. With that in mind here's a poem:

A Traveler's Wish

By Big Frank Dickinson

Let me take off clearly knowing nothing

Haunts me as I move outside of the usual;
Let those dear ones behind be as
Safe at home as I will be on the road.

Let the journey take me outside of me

To a place long-sought, accepted, and true;
Let this absence be a presence

Arriving with me and welcomed by all.

Let the return be a renewed reward
For having left the unwanted behind.
Let the absence be a fulfillment of the
Wanted's arrival welcomed home.

Thought and Will

Big Frank has been reading the poetry of C. K. Williams. His poetry is very accessible, wide-ranging in content, and penetratingly accurate. Big Frank wants to say introspective, but Williams manages to write of the aspects of thought and feelings that resonate broadly. Here is a poem on mind and will that surely all can identify with.

Thinking Thought

"Oh, soul," I sometimes -- often -- still say when I'm trying to convince

my inner self of something.

"Oh, soul," I say still, "there's so much to be done, don't want to stop to

rest now, not already.

"Oh, soul," I say, "the implications of the task are clear, why procrasti-

nate, why whine?"

All the while I know my struggle has to do with mind being only

sometimes subject to the will,

that other portion of itself which manages to stay so recalcitrantly, obsti-

nately impotent.

"Oh, soul, come into my field of want, my realm of act, be attentive to

my computations and predictions."

But as usual soul resits, as usual soul retires, as usual soul's old act of dis-

sipation and removal.

Oh, the furious illusive unities of want, the frail, false fusions and discur-

sive chains of hope.

-- C. K. Williams