Trailing Clouds of Glory

Big Frank is on the road. He is currently in beautiful Bozeman, Montana uncertain how much further he will go this evening. Certainly, without the lure of the clouds on the horizon it is going to be less of draw to keep going. However, night-clouds! That might be something to check out.

Heading out of Spokane and through Idaho there were no clouds at all in the sky - a prefectly blue sky showed Big Frank over the July 4 pass and into Montana where the first glimpse of clouds appeared on the eastern horizen as Big Frank entered Missoula listening to Cold Play's "Viva La Vida" (a father's day gift from Gina!). Then it was a chase to get to those clouds and it didn't happen until Anaconda where Big Frank took the first shot at a rest area over some old piece of metal that probably has something to do with mining. Still those clouds were a ways off.


Then when he hit the western edge of Butte suddenly the cloud was all over Big Frank, an amazing spread of a cloud that reminded Big Frank of the story that that cloud surely had never told anyone, but Big Frank knew it as he drove under it. This was the spreading of a great idea that sprang from a deep feeling. Look at the deep blues on the under belly of this spreading idea - those are the feelings the undergird it (yes, Big Frank is aware that the prevailing wisdom (so-called wisdom) is that feelings spring from ideas - but who hasn't had ideas that sprang up to reach their goals - set with feelings?). As deep at the mining pit in Butte so high was this inspiration for Big Frank.



Going over the pass from Butte to Bozeman the rain came down in buckets and lots and lots of vehicles went in the ditch. Ambulances, firetrucks, police, and EMTs streamed past Big Frank to deal with the wreckage and injury of the terrible downpour which lay water down like oil spreading vehicles right and left. Big Frank slowed to 25 and made it through unscathed. Then as he approached Bozeman the beauty of the passing storm hit Big Frank again in the display of clouds to the north of Bozeman. This resonanted with Big Frank - the calm that comes after a traumatic incident with distant rumbling matching the fading turbulence.




[All Photos by Big Frank Dickinson: 1. above Anaconda, Montana, 2. above Butte, Montana, 3. above Bozeman, Montana.]

Clouds: Drifting and Sizzling

(1) The High Sky Drifter

1. Yes, I know taking the usual course is the thing to do. Follow the wisdom of the crowd and get in line. It's all very clear down there, they think. But . . . actually up here, on my own course things are much clearer. Yes, it is a little lonely, and if one of them should choose to join me that wouldn't be bad; of course, not just anyone: I've made that eminently clear. Maybe that one will; it's not that the invitation wasn't made. I did make it pretty clear what the advantages were and all: I'm good company, the view is gorgeous, I'm very dependable and all, and because I'm solidly sure of my course and direction, so there really would be no risk. So, maybe tomorrow; and if not . . . well, maybe next week.

(2) The Sizzler

Look at what I emanate. Just look! There is not other cloud in the sky that gives it off like I do. Of course, there is a danger in doing this. I know; everytime that I give off a bit of myself I dissipate somewhat. Still, I have heard from so many that what you give comes back threefold. I do hope that it starts coming soon, because if not there is not going to be much left of me. But: what a way to go! What a way to go!


[All Photos by Big Frank Dickinson: 1. above the Spokane River, 2. above Spokane Falls Community College.]

Cloud Stories - again

1. X MARKS THE SPOT

X marks the spot - the spot right above you that is marking your spot. You are the spot. Now, the question: if I am the spot what's the spot for. X marks me indicating that I am that which is to be noted - by me, or someone else? Someone who can't find me can now look up in the sky, and from that giant X find me. Kind of like the Magi looking for the baby Jesus. No, not that, I am not another baby Jesus; it's just that for those, like the Magi, who are out looking for me, there is now an X in the sky that they can use to navigate by to locate me. I'm under the X; yes directly under it - look - that's me.

2. In Suspension (for now)

Encased in this dog-like carapace and floating with white lace around me, I'm getting a little bit restless. It is entrancing and quite relaxing to be able to hold so still like this, and at the same time gently, ever so gently rise up. Why the dog-like wrapping; because I'm thinking that it really does not match my interior in any way whatsoever? I would have chosen something like a an umbrella, or a lantern, or perhaps a balloon! Those are all slowly floating and light (OK, maybe the umbrella isn't all that light, but certainly the other two). I feel much too large for what I am. My purposes are much smaller, and this is all too public and discussable. A breeze, a breeze, my dog-shape for a breeze.

3. CREATION

That burst? Where the hell did it come from? At first, as I remember, we were all together here in a pretty compact (for a cloud anyway) lump. Look below, at our cousins, aunts, and neighbors; see how together they all are. Look at those boundaries that they are all abiding by too. And . . . the honored space in between. That's the way it used to be with us too. There we were slowly (together) marching across the sky. I think we were just above uncle Cumucu, and we'd been either there or above aunt Ciricu for - well for as long as we can remember. Then someone among us (not sure who) said they had an idea; something about change about growth, and the next thing you know Kaboom! Now what's the family going to think, and where is this going to take us? Still - it is different now, and I'm kind of interested in seeing where this is going to all end up; although I notice that it's becoming more and more me and less and less us. . . hmmmm?

[All Photos by Big Frank Dickinson: 1. above Big Frank's house, 2. & 3. above Spokane Falls Community College]

Steamboat Rock with Gina

To celebrate Father's Day, Gina went with her Dad, Big Frank, to climb Steamboat Rock and hang around on its top for a while. The day started out iffy with a full blanket of clouds (sorry no photos of that for now). However, despite a few sprinkles the day came off well. We met just two other hikers and had the whole rock to ourselves. Last year, when on top, Gina claims to have seen a wolf; however no sign of that animal this time, only soaring hawks, low hanging clouds, gusty wind and one happy dad out for a hike with his beautiful daughter!

Around the bend

(1) Turning the corner going around the bend (there is spot of blue above me) I'm going round the bend. It is not the blue that is leading me - it is the clouds tinted black that highlight this course that I seem to be drawn to: inevitably drawn to this turn. I could turn around; go back to that intersection that I saw not to far back. No, I'm heading onward around the bend. I'll take my chances because I am determined to follow this course even if it takes me around the bend.



(2) Why go around the bend? WTF?

Clouds and Stories

(1). Spokane is only the underdrop for these clouds that carry a different story for every single person that they cover. The guy in the tall white building in the center of this photo is not even aware that these clouds carry a story for him; it is carried by the center darkness of these clouds which reflect his brooding insecurity about the likelihood that his co-workers respect him. They never defer to him in conversations, never follow-up on any topic changes that he makes, never laugh at his jokes, and it seems that sometimes they look down when he walks towards them. The darkness of these clouds is his.

(2). The illuminated center of these clouds reflects the hope of the graduates lined up beneath them. Their period of study is over and now they glow with accomplishment and determination to take that next step in their lives for which they believe this period of study has prepared them for. For some it will have been a preparation for what comes next; however, for others the preparation will be of a different sort. It will have been an unacknowledged preparation in that what happened while at college in the hidden curriculum outside the classroom, something that they were not even aware of will carry them through connections, personal growth, and acquired perseverance on a road that they never expected to ever be on - be it's coming.

(3). The unlikely shape of this cloud leads the man below to believe that it carries significance for him. Nobody looks at a typical round cloud, or a blanket of clouds and sees anything of significance in them. This cloud's unique shape prompts thoughts derived from contrived images. This man does not see Mickey Mouse ears, nor does he see two trolls on a teeter-totter; he sees the two poles of himself - his ying and his yang joined in the middle and looking up at each other. For him, it means that he has met his soul mate - he recognizes her and is a peace with this knowledge. And this is very strange, because he doesn't believe in soul mates!

Spokane Webloggers

The Spokane Webloggers met yesterday evening and it was a very productive meeting. As a result of this meetup the world now has a new blogger - Slatsz. So check out his blog: www.slatsz.blogspot.com, and write him some encouraging comments to keep the blogging going.

And . . . all you other Spokane Webloggers - feel free to join us. The information is at www.meetup.com We meet once a month and discuss various aspects of blogging, share tricks of the trade, discuss content, and get to know each other better. If you have no idea about blogging and think that maybe you might like to try it: Big Frank will get you up and running very quickly.

Yes

Big Frank and Spokane weathered a tremendous thunderstorm this evening. The rain and hail pelted the city and the streets and gutters ran with torrents of water. It was as if what had been building up for days suddenly let go, and it was good. There was no need to fret anymore; all is well. The double rainbow that Big Frank captured after the storm was proof of that. In Greek mythology the rainbow was considered a path of the messenger, Iris, bewteen Earth and Heaven. In Indian mythology the rainbow is the bow of Kama, the god of love. And this brought to Big Frank's mind the single word, YES. The word so pleasing to the ear. Here's the link to Big Frank's poem on YES. And below from Gregory Orr's new book of poetry entitled, "How Beautiful the Beloved".

Here is a quotation from this very affirming book:

If to say it once
And once only,
then still To say: Yes.

And say it complete,
Say it as if the word
Filled the whole moment
With its absolute saying.

Later for “but,”
Later for “if.”
Now
Only the single syllable
That is the beloved,
That is the world.

Spokane Poets

Big Frank introduces the Spokane Poets, or Pava's Poets, or Slatsz's Group of Poets . . . nobody really knows if we actually have a name. In the picture are some terrific writers who get together every couple of weeks to share what they have written, or what they have found of interest to share. The group has been in existence for years and years and let Big Frank join them. Big Frank has learned a lot from them and looks forward to and enjoys the time together with these fellow lovers of poetry. Slatsz, Pava, Randall, Ann Marie, Rose, Magne, Stewart, and Fred are all pictured along with Big Frank.

Supine Sleeper

Hopper's Unpainted Supine Sleeper

The geometry of this unpainted
Scene wraps around the sleeping woman
Who forms a single line in the center
Of the large bed which covers the middle
Of the painting stretching under her
Vertically across the room; she is sleeping
On her back, with her arms at her side
As though she were dreaming at attention.
Her face is gazing with closed eyes at the
Ceiling. She has taken this line out of here.
Her dreams are not in this painting; not one.
They whirl her out of line into herself;
In them she does not even try to take
The straight line nor does she even pay
Any attention to veticality.
Horizontally prone she bares her back
In her dream to the imagined warmth of light hands.
The window on the left is open
To the early morning light which
Shines in upon her forming a yellow
Glow of warm awaking that reminds her
Of hands that once put her to sleep.

Gina's Back!

Gina has finished her first year of university! She came home today from Southern Oregon U. where she's studying theater. After unpacking and chatting for a bit she quickly made out her grocery list and she and her dad headed over to Freddy Meyers to stock up on healthy food. It's going to be terrific having her around this summer, and who knows maybe under her influence Big Frank will become Big Heathy Frank!

Welcome home Gina!

Trail Running and Clouds!

Big Frank wishes that he could run in the clouds. Yeah, back to clouds again. It seems like Big Frank has not been looking up enough, so today he had his head in the clouds, which is a little bit dangerous both when running and also when driving. Some of the clouds appeared to Big Frank when he was in his car and he had to drive (at times) quite some distance to get the right shot. He likes to get as much cloud in the picture as possible, and NO telephone wires. Including a little green border is not a bad idea, but clouds need to dominate.

Look at those those clouds that Big Frank captured above. These were out there all day and Big Frank chased them! They blew Big Frank away. This is, by the way, on Big Frank's favorite side road for running. These are good omen clouds; look at them and ask yourself: is this not a great life that I'm living? Then know, as Big Frank knows: it is going to get much better very soon. Just wait and you will see! It's coming very soon!

Then Big Frank gets home and goes out on his deck, and looks to the east and - NO WAY! Yes, indeed there is an even more spectacular display waiting. Now we all know that everything happens for a reasons (well, some know): and for those of you who do believe that, here's a question for you: why were those clouds waiting for Big Frank, and does it mean what Big Frank thinks it means?

The Painting Hopper Didn't Do

The Painting Hopper Didn't Do
---- Big Frank Dickinson

His women typically face you
In private moments of introspection:
The woman inside the theater
Intently mulling something over

While the movie plays to the side;
The woman sitting on the bed
While outside the window the car waits
To take her away to god knows where;

The woman in the automat silently sipping
Her coffee while her thoughts jangle away;
The woman executive interrupted on the job
By her lover's letter which stops her work.

However, here she stands looking away;
Out the window; while her lover still reclines
Behind her in bed. He's not in the frame;
She is opening the blinds on a new day.

You see her back from his view in bed
Where he lies in the wrinkled shadows
Wishing she were still there with him
Embracing as before in the dark.

Last night is missing, in this painting
as is tomorrow. But not from her lover's frame.
She, silhouetted by dawn's shutters,
Quickly chases away last night's play.

Boxed in by useless columns of curtains
To the left and right, and facing her
The open shade lets the scraps of darkness
Slips sadly out between the cracks of light.

This blanketing brightness is as welcomed
By her as it is regretted by her lover
Who still lies in shimmering darkness
Bracing against the dismissive light of day.

Answers to - Are you Sane?

The genuinely sane person would answer these questions as follows. If you are interested in why then read this article by Hayakawa and find out.

1. No (Sane people are not, the ordinary sense of the term, "well-adjusted." His relation to the society around him may be described somewhat as follows: h is in and of the society of which he is a member, but he is ot a prisoner of that society.)
2. Yes (The sane person is to an unusual degree accessibly aware of his feelings, emotions etc.)
3. A little (It is the individual who knows how little he knows about himself who stands a reasonable chance of finding out something about himself/herself before he dies.)
4. Yes (Genuinely sane people can tolerate the amiguous in life; they do not neglect the unknown, or deny it, or run away from it, or try to mkake believe it really is known, nor do they roganize it prematurely.)
5. Yes (A genuinely sane person can tolerate much ambiguity where amiguity exits; receiving much conflicting information without forcing closure on the situation.)
6. Low (Genuinely sane people have a wonderful capacity to experience at lower levels of abstraction; they react to the specific without placing events, perceptions, people etc. into categories.)
7. Yes (The genuinely sane person can accept themselves at all leves (love, safety, belongingness, honor, self-respect as long as all the so called lower levels.)
8. No (The genuinely sane person does not view what they do as a means to an end, but rather as an act of pleasure to be undertaken for its own sake.)
9. Yes (Because the fully functioning person's experience, past and present, are accessible to awareness, because he sees freshly and without rigid categorizing or labeling of the situation before him, he lutimately is his own judge of what is the needed solution for any given problem.
10. Yes (Because such feelings can arise from non-neurotic sources in this troubled world -- so that externally he (or she) may look just as troubled and act just as troubled as a neurotic person, because there are troubles in the world which cause doubt, anxiety, and forboding. But his troubles would be real ones and not self-contrived ones.)

The World as Big Frank Understands it

Big Frank is thinking about a worthy book that could be written. It would be entitled, "The World As I Understand It". This would be written without any reference material whatsoever. The book would be a record of how Big Frank understands the world. Theoretically this would mean that everything that he knows about the world would have to be in this book. It would include his own personal history, what he knows about the people that he knows, what their interactions are with Big Frank (and with others - that which Big Frank knows about), the entire history of the world (again, as he understands it), a summary of all the sciences, art (literature, painting, sculplture, theater, and music), the applied arts, media (television, radio, the internet, etc.), and on and on. Now Big Frank will be the first to admit that he really has some very large gaps in his knowledge. For example the chapter on electricity would be very short and wouldn't really go much beyond an elementary description of the atom and (as Big Frank thinks) something about electrons and how they bump into each other in a kind of stream, and then a very large leap into how that someone can be used to power things. This very cursory coverage would permeate a lot of things. Other areas would be have better coverage: Big Frank's life, his feelings about different things (nothing here beyond introspection), and some areas that he has a little more expertice in than others (how to cut in a window, how describe the articulatory mechanism of speech, how to teach someone how to read, some novels and poems (how to write a poem), how to juggle, a few languages, how to play the clarinet, and a few others. The payoff would be when it was finished there would be a record that would read more along the lines of what one man did not know than what he did.

The Paucity of Words

The Paucity of Words
---- Big Frank Dickinson

If you can't say it; you don't know it
Is something that I used to believe
Because I could say it; but now I can't.

There is a kind of music that arises
Within that is as incapable of being
Translated into words as a Mozart sonata,

And trying to interpret would be like
Dubbing over a symphony with
Dumb flat sentences - you lose the magic.

The melody that rises within while
Deep in meditation, while listening
To cascades of music or seeing

The welcoming shimmer of joy
In the eyes of your beloved
Cannot be captured with these

Small darts of sound and thought
Which are but bits to catalogue
A world fragmented and spinning.

When beauty stops thought
There arises a peace that surpasses
All the words that chase your heart.

It's not the same anymore

It's really not the same anymore, is it? Big Frank means, how it used to be - you know - back before now. Or is it? Maybe that's a way of bifurcating people: there are those with whom it is actually the same now as it was --- back then (however, you define it, and if that's too vague, then let's say - not all that long ago.) There is a pattern that develops in your life and one can settle into that pattern and welcome it, or (as Duke Adamski famously said - "or else not"). These patterns (think about them, sometimes they can last for weeks, or months, or for many many years) mark the epochs of your life. You can categorize your life by them: You were very very little and remember looking at rabbits, and sitting in your mother's lap, and walking down the street hand in hand with your dad - were those memories or memories of pictures - ; then lots of sitting in lots of desks in grade school and high school (that can be condensed very easily in one sentence, but in your mind it has lots of pictures, but whatever - it's different now for sure. OK we've covered all the really young stuff. Now you graduate from high school and go away to college (some of you, most of you) and that's different from now; then (for you who were there - those still there, well the rest is what is to come.) Then jobs, marriage, kids, no-kids, and then what? It's different again. So it's always getting different even when you think it's just the grinding on of more of the same - still "different" (love those words in quotes - it's like by enclosing them you somehow make them "different".) [Different, enclosing (more of the same) slowing, but actually quickly moving into (something quite different) until you are actually into a totally Different.] Then (there's always a "then") what about the world of you and them? At first you and him/her is quite tight, and then not so tight, and then . . . it's just you (and, of course, him/her . . . apart). Then there are lots of him/her- him/her - her/him - hem/hir etc. until it becomes somewhat not different from the intial different, and then just when you least expected it - it's suddently really different and there you again just being you (but thinking about him/her/ hir/hem, and then not. Until the big interest (stamp collecting, woodmaking, meeting these people who want to meet new people, meeting people who are not all that interested in meeting new peope, meeting nobody, etc. Then suddently - it's the same again - but you know it will soon be different - same old same! Then (always another "then") all of a sudden (actually it's never so sudden, but rather gradually, but it's not so dramatic to say "then after a long stretch of time - so long that this person never ever was aware of the passage of time as it passed him/her by to the point where one day they (either him or her) woke up and noticed: OMG - it's so different! But it was/is and it always will be/was/ has been.

Random Musings

Big Frank has had a few random thoughts lately. Random? Well, unorganized in any sytematic way, but nonethess they are popping up so - here there are. A list:

1. Cliches are thought terminating if they are trotted out in the middle of a conversation, you know, as it were, there you are, etc. However, when you organize them and list then they can be real poetry and enlightening (more to come on this).
2. We all have a real cacophony of voices inside our head. Who's the boss? Come on, which one?
3. Do you have a philosophy of life, or is your life your philosophy?
4. Why is it that "less" is taking over from "few"? Big Frank will make a prediction: in 20 years nobody will even know what "few" means anymore. Does it make any difference? (Ten items or less! Give Big Frank a major break! Fewer breaks will be given, Big Frank is sure; oops - sorry less breaks.)
5. What is the secret that you have that even you don't know?
6. If you could play games all the time - really fun ones - would you want to play reality anymore?
7. If you were truly honest with those you are closest with, would it change your relationship? What is it that you don't want to share? Why?
8. Think of your biggest problem. (OK, got it?) Now, imagine this - it's really not your biggest problem at all.
9. When you are really being rational, what is the end that your being rational towards? Is that a rational construct too, or a product of your emotions/desires?
10. Do you talk to yourself? If so, which self? And which one's talking? And who is watching all this?
11. Who is your real self? Is it a single voice in your head speaking on behalf of the real true you (as you imagine it)? Is it a story you tell yourself about who you are? Is it hidden silent center of you that you are struggling to get to know? If that latter is true, then who is it that is trying get to know that hidden center?
12. Do you tell other people the same stories over and over and over again? What are your favorite ones that you tell all the time? Why?
13. If you could redo your life, would you? Would it make any difference?
14. Are you in control of your life - or struggling like a coconut tossed about at sea?
15. If you were someone else telling you, with what you know about yourself (you are you after all) what to do, would you listen?
16. Think about the secrets that you truly keep to yourself: thought, feelings, actions that you are doing, or are planning on doing (but telling nobody about). OK, now why are they secrets? Would anything change if you shared them? Why do you not share them?